#listened to echo on repeat and here's the result | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

iboozi · 30 days ago

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Songs of Us | Everybody Here Wants You | jjk

↺ pairing: jeongguk / reader (somewhat strangers to lovers)

↺ summary: Everybody wants you, but you only want him

↺ warnings: smut (in a bathroom sorry), unprotected sex (stay safe), oral (f. receiving),

↺ w/c: 8.5k

A/N: Hello... uh... welcome to the second instalment of the Songs of Us series!!! This took 3 weeks to write because I had to keep changing so much, but here it is! My poor wrists are cramped up writing this. And I finally figured out how to do the em dash on mac 😼 so it's over for everyone (jk). I do have other song ideas but I'm always welcome to more! Pls! Enjoy! And I listened to Everybody here wants you by Jeff Buckley on REPEAT whilst editing so this song is stuck in my head. Also I wanted to make this enemies to lovers but something about a lover boy just gets me everytime. I'm drawn to needy guys (not really irl) ! I'll try it again next time 😔

p.s thankyouthankyou to @tranquilreign for encouraging me to keep going!💗 you got this as well!!!

-Zoobi out 🪩

masterlist

Everybody here wants you

Jeon Jeongguk was seething.

Well — not exactly seething. More like… mildly agitated. The moment just before water reaches boiling point. The kind of emotional turmoil that wouldn’t result in a few holes punched into drywall but did warrant a deep sigh and a stare out the window that would have others questioning his behaviour.

It wasn’t common for him to feel such freakishly intense emotions – on a Friday night, no less – but alas, he was a growing boy (pushing 30) who was yet to have a hold on his emotions.

In all honesty, he was a well-regulated person. He was said to be a man of structure (Jimin’s words, not his) and often showed high levels of self-restraint. He did his morning exercise, ate balanced meals nine times out of ten, and even spared time to read self-help books every evening. But tonight? All of that had been thrown right out the window and stuffed down the garbage chute.

Why?

Because of a girl.

And no, he wasn’t rejected by her. Quite the opposite actually. She was too nice. Painfully, bewilderingly, disarmingly nice.

You see, upon meeting this girl, Jeongguk had been confoundingly starstruck. No, really — his mouth had literally fallen open.

He had tried to say something – anything – but all he could let out was a sound that was vaguely similar to the sputtering of a dying car engine. You, of course, had smiled. Not with pity and certainly no mockery either. You gave a smile that radiated warmth and signalled that Jeongguk hadn’t actually embarrassed himself.

But a nudge and a snicker from Jimin beside him snapped him back to the reality that they were being watched by a few friends, and that he, in fact, did lose some composure in that moment. He couldn’t do anything but flush a soft pink and scratch the back of his head as he muttered a quiet,

“Uh-hey… nice to meet you,” as if the universe were witnessing his struggle and had decided to put him in a far more awkward situation.

The universe, in that case, seemed to be Jimin who found Jeongguk tripping over his words much more comical than his mouth falling open. His laughter echoed throughout the bar, much louder than necessary, drawing the attention of a few nearby onlookers who most definitely didn’t need to see Jeongguk socially run himself into the ground. He could’ve sworn he heard someone whisper, “Is that Jeongguk? Didn’t he sing karaoke here the other day? With like a hundred people?”

Jimin — the absolute traitor — was no help whatsoever. He was too busy trying not to keel over onto the ground, an apparent sign that he loved to see Jeongguk suffer. If anything was better than getting under Jeongguk’s skin, it was seeing him fumble and trip over his words in front of a girl. At least Jimin was a true friend.

But that wasn’t all.

The worst part was that Jimin was holding onto your arm as he tried to keep his balance. His arm was curled gently around your forearm, and you, being the kind-hearted person you were, your free hand was gripping onto his bicep to keep him steady.

And even though Jimin was holding onto you for support, there was a level of intimacy behind his hold.

Jeongguk wasn’t sure whether he wanted to strangle his best friend or sprint out the door without looking back.

He couldn’t help it - his gaze kept drifting back to you. Your focus wasn’t on Jeongguk anymore – no it was now on Jimin. Jimin, whom you were looking at like he was some kind of circus act.

Your hand was still wrapped loosely around his arm, fingers brushing Jimin’s hidden tattoos, but Jeongguk swore that he could feel the heat from your touch like it was something tangible. It certainly didn’t help that you were laughing along with Jimin, making Jeongguk feel like an outsider in his own group of friends.

Even Namjoon at the back was stifling his laughter – a man notoriously known for fumbling things. The goddamn audacity of Jimin, ruining Jeongguk’s chance at normality, whilst simultaneously sweeping in and bonding with you like old pals – which, Jeongguk supposed, you were.

“Jimin,” Jeongguk had muttered beneath his breath, voice laced with frustration, “you’re making it worse.”

But of course, Jimin didn’t hear. He didn’t really acknowledge Jeongguk’s visible awkwardness, as he knew Jeongguk would eventually warm up with a few drinks — or at least thought Jeongguk was grown enough to do so.

As a matter of fact, Jeongguk hadn’t warmed up with a few drinks.

Instead, his beer sat untouched in front of him, condensation dripping slowly down the side, as if it were taunting him.

You were still talking to Jimin. Still laughing. And still pulling the attention of everyone in the room without meaning to. Jeongguk had caught at least four guys taking a double take as you waltzed past everyone to the restroom.

And Jeongguk? He was just there. Stuck in his own head. Watching the way you floated through the room with such grace that it felt illegal to look at you for too long.

And yeah, maybe it was a bit — no, it was very — stupid of him as he just sat in the corner of the booth, fidgeting with the bracelets on his wrist,a storm brewing behind his eyes.

But as if the universe were playing some big cruel joke on him, a song he knew too well started playing from the speakers behind him.

“Twenty-nine pearls in your kiss

A singing smile,

Coffee smell and lilac skin

Your flame in me…”

Jeongguk was frozen. He knew that song. Of course he did. His scratched-up vinyl was somewhere under his bed, tucked away with the rest of his albums he liked to pull out on nights when his emotions got the best of him. If anyone were to find his collection, Jeongguk would just laugh and offer to put one on. But this specific song was a bit more worn, corners a bit more frayed, because Jeongguk had simply used the vinyl so much that it was begging to be put back and given rest.

Now, like a memory brandished in front of him, it was playing in public, in real time. The words reverberated in his skull as you threw your head back to laugh at something Jimin said. The delicate curve of your neck matched the lift of your smile, pulling at something deep in Jeongguk’s chest. It hit Jeongguk – this wasn’t a crush. It couldn’t be classified as infatuation.

Because this was a full-body ache.

Years of hearing about you and your travels across the world, what jobs you had bounced between, the languages you spoke like they were your mother tongue. The little anecdotes Jimin would filter into every conversation added up over the years – like the time you roamed the streets of Prague lost in the city lights with nothing but a dying phone battery in one hand and heels in the other. Or when you somehow managed to charm a cranky police officer in Tokyo, speaking perfect Japanese without hesitation. All these stories, all these mentions of you over the years had turned you into a slowly building myth in Jeongguk’s mind. You were a legend in his group.

A soft, golden legend. Who was now sitting in front of him, laughing. Just existing in the same vicinity as him. So real and so devastatingly beautiful.

Jeongguk didn’t even know what to focus on, his gaze hyper- fixated on your figure. Your dress, delicate straps sloping down your shoulders. Your necklace, sitting perfectly in the hollow of your neck. Every detail was so meticulously curated, from your hair down to your nails, that all Jeongguk could do was stare. He smiled when you smiled. Laughed when you made jokes. Offered to refill your drink, which you kindly accepted. Even Namjoon had noticed Jeongguk’s attention solely directed to you, but a few nudges from him wouldn’t even deter Jeongguk from continuing to shine the spotlight on you.

“I’ll be waiting right here to show you

How our love will blow it all away…”

The lyrics hit too close to home. God had a sick sense of humour.

Frankly speaking, Jeongguk hadn’t expected to be put in this situation. Hadn’t expected to be looked at the way you did – not when Jimin showed your pictures and certainly not when he mentioned you were tagging along for the night.

You were Jimin’s friend. Jimin’s closest friend. The kind who whispered secrets under the covers. The kind who knew what each other was thinking before anything was verbalised. The kind that walked into the room and became the air that everyone breathed. And the kind that never lingered for too long, always hooking the attention of people, leading them in a trail of passports and postcards and “Goodbye don’t miss me!” notes.

And even though Jeongguk knew this when you looked at him – before the embarrassment, and before Jimin began his normal routine of making jokes at Jeongguk – it wasn’t dismissive. There was curiosity in your gaze. A sort of gentleness that Jeongguk hadn’t had the opportunity to really see. Ever.

And call it cliché, but he felt seen. Not in the normal performative way that others viewed him in — the golden boy title — but something more subdued. Like the world had halted and you had suddenly found yourself at the same frequency he was vibrating on.

That was the part that hurt.

He couldn’t even decide if there was more jealousy to be channelled towards Jimin – for grasping and attaining your attention so easily – or himself, for knowing how you could look at him.

And God, the way the song resounded through the bar.

“I know everybody here wants you,

I know everybody here thinks he needs you…”

Everyone did want you. Jeongguk could sense it in the way people's eyes lingered on you from across the room like you were some kind of celestial being. The way their eyes lit up as you voiced conversations. He was insane for thinking that he even had a sliver of a chance with you – he was too structured, too soft-spoken, and had a deep fear of too much.

So he sat there, quietly tracing the rim of his glass, unnoticed by the rest, while the music filled the void of what he wanted to say and what he inevitably never would.

And as your winding, overly animated exchange with Jimin came to an end, your eyes scanned the booth before landing on Jeongguk. You tentatively offered him a small smile, and Jeongguk’s heart flipped in his chest – a sharp, stabbing pain that he would gladly experience a hundred more times, just for you to give that tender smile of yours to him.

“Everything okay?” you asked calmly, cheeks flushed from the combination of the hot air and alcohol.

The question wasn’t for others to hear. Wasn’t dramatic and wasn’t loud.

And Jeongguk - poor, deteriorating Jeongguk - nodded frantically.

“Yeah. Just, uh… you know… thinking.”

You tilted your head to the side, bangs untucking from behind your ears and falling ever so carefully down your forehead.

“Dangerous pastime, I’ve heard. Don’t hurt yourself.”

He gave a breathy laugh.

“Are—“

Jimin stood up abruptly, thighs knocking into the table, causing Jeongguk’s drink to slosh over its rim.

“Jeonggukie. We gotta go, dude. She’s blowing up my phone again.”

Jimin was already halfway to the door, coat in hand, and evidently in his own world. Jeongguk didn’t move, fingers still absentmindedly circling the glass’ rim. Only when Jimin interrupted with a loud “Jeongguk!” did he jolt out of his daydream — nightdream? It was well past the hours he would be awake, and Jeongguk was feeling the effects of it.

“I swear to God, Jimin,” he muttered, running a hand down his face, his words drowned out by Jimin’s boisterous antics. The said person was already making his way back over to the booth to pull Jeongguk up, barely giving him a moment to recover.

Jimin looked at you, a sheepish grin plastered on his face, and laughed out,

“Sorry, Jeongguk’s just a little—” He gestured his hand vaguely to Jeongguk and the pure awkwardness radiating off him. “Well, I’m sure you can figure it out.”

Jimin winked at him, who could only glare in return and yank his arm out of Jimin’s hold.

Jeongguk wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the way the entire bar seemed to blur around you, but as he reached down for his jacket, the weight of his emotions was heavier than ever. His body was stiff, the physical manifestation of every feeling he couldn’t quite place. But you?

You were just there — your warmth, your presence, the way your gaze lingered on him with that unspoken curiosity, and Jeongguk found himself paralysed.

The moment you were so close to sharing was gone, dissipated in the door Jimin had left open.

And the perpetrator was already at the door again, texting away like he had zero notion for the turmoil his best friend was experiencing. It was a good thing that Jeongguk had learned over many torturous years how to silently communicate his frustration to Jimin, because right now it was at an all-time high.

Jeongguk wanted to say something to you – anything - but, like always, his words failed him when he needed them the most.

So when he looked back at you to catch one last glance, he found you staring at him – not Namjoon, who was engaging in conversation with you – the smile from earlier lingering on your face. Jeongguk grinned back but couldn’t quite place what your smile meant. Pity? Or… something else? And that goddamn ridiculous song followed him out the door, mocking him for the predicament he was in.

He had barely taken two steps toward his bike, which Jimin was resting against when he heard the unmistakable whisper of your voice. It travelled through the air and struck a chord, freezing him, breath caught in his throat and the tension that was slowly leaving came back in full force.

He turned around, eyes scanning the street barely lit by the overhead lamps. His gaze found yours — heart skipping a beat as he saw you standing there, a few feet away, shuffling in the cold.

You were staring at him — so calmly, so composed — but there was something in the way you looked at him that hadn’t been there before. Maybe it was your drawn-out gaze that lasted just a few seconds too long, or the soft tilt of your head. It was different… but a good different.

“Jeongguk,” you said again, softer this time, like you were testing the air between you. “You left your phone behind.”

His first instinct was to pat the pockets of his jeans, then his jacket. Then he looked up at you, eyes wide with surprise. He smiled that awkward smile of his, like he’d just been caught cheating in an exam and walked over to you. Your gaze, full of amusement, was locked onto Jeongguk’s figure as he made his way over to you, and he swore he felt you look him up and down — but he didn’t want to feed into the delusion.

He muttered a small thanks as you handed his phone back to him, but his eyes never left yours. The streetlights shining overhead seemed to illuminate you — a visage kissed by light, highlighting the gentle features of your face: your delicately sloping nose, the little freckles on your cheeks and the way your hair cascaded over your shoulder like a scarf, woven from midnight and dreams. In Jeongguk’s eyes, you were oneiric, someone spoken of only in myths and tales.

You took a few steps closer, feet directly opposite Jeongguk’s, a smile playing on your lips — mischief mingled with something else. Something caring.

“You looked like you were overwhelmed in there,” you teased, voice but tinged with a softness that made Jeongguk’s chest tighten.

He let out something between a laugh and a cough, surprised to be caught. Usually he was able to place an impressive façade, but maybe it just wasn’t as good as he thought it was. He fiddled with his jacket, pulling the sleeves over his hands, pretending his skin wasn’t warm to the touch — feverishly red.

“Yeah…I-I’m fine,” he said, but the words felt foreign on his tongue. He was anything but fine.

You watched him with a steady gaze and hummed softly, as if trying to figure him out.

“Are you sure?” you asked, stepping closer. “I don’t want to assume, but it… it didn’t seem like that.”

Jeongguk’s heart thudded against his ribcage — from panic, but something he was yet to identify. How could you have such an impact on him after only just meeting?

"I…" He paused, swallowing the build-up of spit in his throat "I don’t know. I’ve just—" He let out a small, frustrated sigh and ran his hand through his hair. "I guess I was just nervous.”

You blinked, eyes softening in understanding.

“Nervous about what?”

Jeongguk gestured vaguely toward the bar.

"Being around people. Making conversations. I get all... tangled up in my head and forget how to just relax." He laughed, but it wasn’t a funny laugh — more self-deprecating, if he was being honest. "I probably just needed another drink.”

You tilted your head slightly, eyes boring holes into Jeongguk.

Y’know,” you started, voice closer to a whisper, “Jimin didn’t tell me that about you.”

Jeongguk balked, eyes widening in sudden surprise.

“He talked about me?”

You laughed, ripples of joy escaping your lips, getting lost in the night breeze, and looked up at Jeongguk with a big smile on your face.

“Of course he has.”

He wasn’t sure what to say to that. He figured he should’ve expected it. If Jimin talked endlessly about you to everyone, then surely he’d talk about Jeongguk as well, right?

All the awful stories that had accumulated over the years on drunken nights, the occasional nights fuelled by pure adrenaline, and the nights he would rather not bring up rushed back into Jeongguk’s head. He fought the urge to groan. Goddamnit, Jimin.

You shrugged, the playful glint in your eye never fading. “I know a lot more about you than you think, Jeonggukie. Jimin just doesn’t keep his mouth shut.”

You paused, taking in his bewildered expression.

“And I know you know about me too.”

That was the last straw—the final piece of décor on the cake. Jeongguk hung his head in embarrassment. All that, and he still managed to fuck up his first impression.

You didn’t say anything for a moment, just letting the silence wrap around you both—and the awkwardness around Jeongguk. There was something serene in the air between you, a quiet understanding that perhaps you weren’t really strangers.

And then you moved—just barely, but enough to close the space between you two, causing your shoes to brush the tips of his.

Jeongguk froze.

Gone was the laughter in your eyes. But it wasn’t replaced with mockery. It was curiosity. Raw curiosity, almost like you were inviting him to say something he’d been festering on all night.

Then your voice, soft and harmonious:

“Maybe next time… try saying hi before your nervous system gives up.”

A laugh bubbled up from his chest, the first genuine one of the day—lifting some of the weight he had been unconsciously carrying.

You smiled at him like you meant it and ever so carefully inched your hand out to brush a strand of hair from his forehead.

Jeongguk stood still, phone still clutched in his hand, grip tighter than ever, and nodded slowly. Your hand slowly made its way down and rested on his jaw a few seconds too long—long enough for Jeongguk to get nervous, red tainting the tips of his ears. Thank God it was dark.

“Okay,” he breathed out shakily. “Next time.”

You took a step back, hands clasped behind your back, eyes still on his. “I’ll keep you to that, Jeongguk.”

Then you turned, hair catching the light like strands of spun gold, and made your way back to the bar—leaving behind the soft smell of jasmine and a boy who could finally breathe.

Art exhibitions were one of Jeongguk’s favourite places to be. At first, he only came because Namjoon would plead him to come — to which he would, begrudgingly — but overtime he had come to find peace in the simplicity of the experience and was constantly finding new ones to go to (with Jimin as well).

The gallery was picturesque, with soft, warm lighting — strangely reminding Jeongguk of the night with you outside the bar – with the shadows across the walls where canvases breathed tales in splashes of watercolour and acrylic. The air had the subtle after-scent of paint and polished wood, mingled with faint undertones of perfumes and freshly opened bottles of wines.

Jeongguk was lingering near a large painting – an explosive composition of blues and reds, very much paying a homage to the inner disarray he had been experiencing over the last few weeks.

First, hearing from Jimin that you were on a flight to god knows where less than twelve hours after your initial meeting quickly dampened his giddy mood. He was hoping to see you again — even just for a quick coffee— but was now stuck resorting to stalking to your Instagram.

He couldn’t even do that properly, considering your account was strictly private and Jeongguk felt that he wasn’t at that level of status with you. He couldn’t even stalk from Jimin’s phone because he knew that his best friend wouldn’t keep his gob shut and would relay the information back to you in less than two minutes. So he was stuck with his memories. Which was quite poor, considering how tired he was on that darned night, but your face and the lingering smell of you was enough —for now.

What made this indescribable feeling of yearning worse was the fact that Jimin didn’t even know when you’d be back. Seriously. What was he even useful for? Despite all the claims of knowing you the best, he never once thought to figure out your spontaneity — or at least tried to make rough estimations based on patterns. If Jeongguk ever tried to slip your name in a conversation (very discreetly—at least he thought so), Jimin would just laugh to himself and mutter some incoherent words before going back to typing furiously on his phone. Literally. That’s all he would do.

It was frustrating to Jeongguk to no end, but he learnt to keep his mouth shut and instead wallow in the idea of what could be (which really wasn’t looking like much)

So, he figured he would distract himself with what he knew best. And no, it wasn’t the gym—even though it came a close second—but it was the tranquillity of these small art galleries, the ones that were tucked away in the quietest streets, waiting for travellers to settle inside and welcome a new world

He always liked being the one to pursue things, not the one being sought for.

Thus, he stood in a quiet corner of the room, hands tucked into his pockets, body stiff and mind racing with thoughts. He told himself that this was a casual event, but he couldn’t help but put on his best dress shoes—and yes, he might’ve gelled his hair a bit and put on his best black shirt, but it made him feel good. He needed this boost of confidence considering how pathetic he had felt lately and dressing up to have somewhat done the trick.

But it still didn’t stop the unease running through him. It was unsettling – he wasn’t one to feel nervous in a place he found comfort, but there was something about the air that made tonight’s exhibition a bit more… lonely.

Perhaps it was the fact that Namjoon and Jimin had ditched him for their dates—he didn’t even know that it was allowed in friend group meetups, but… it wasn’t like he had one anyway.

And like someone had just replaced the tonearm on a continuous vinyl, the very song that Jeongguk had been trying to avoid filtered through the speakers once more and wandered over to his ears.

…it had to be a joke. Right? No way this song was following him around like it had a warrant on him. Seriously. He had no idea what he had done to deserve this torture, and frankly, he didn’t have the mental strength to think about it.

Jeongguk didn’t move. Didn’t blink. Didn’t take his hand out of his pockets. Just stared at the painting like he was trying to be absorbed by it, disappear amongst the weird, colourful swirls and blend in to hide from whatever divine intervention was going on around him, just preying on him in his most pitiful moments.

“I know everybody here wants you…”

He tightened his jaw, muscles fluttering in annoyance.

It was decided. The universe had a sick, personal vendetta against him. How the hell did this song play everytime his thoughts drifted to you? Sure he might’ve thought of you more often than he’d like to admit, but he was trying to distract himself, goddamnit!

He huffed. Not even the multitude of colours in front of him could tug his attention from you.

It wasn’t really about the song. Not really. It was more so to do with what it meant to him.

The night outside the bar.

The way you caressed his hair even though he wanted it to lay like that.

The way you whispered his name like it was a secret between the two of you

The way you saw him.

And then— the way you left as quickly as you came.

He barely got to say his goodbye. You were there one minute, and suddenly he had blinked, and you were gone. All that was left was the feeling of your fingertips grazing his skin and the filtered story that Jimin showed you with a geotag somewhere oceans away.

Jeongguk exhaled slowly, trying to collect his thoughts. He wasn’t in love or anything he was past the stage of teenage limerence.

…Right?

A soft clack of heels pulled him from the drifting seas of his mind.

He didn’t react at first. Footsteps were common in galleries, voices humming like bees in fields of sunflowers. But there was something different about the rhythm. It made the hairs on his neck stand straight up. There was delicacy behind the footfalls nearing him.

He turned.

And nearly forgot how to fucking breathe.

You.

Long black dress, tan coat slung over your shoulder, and your hair just effortlessly pooling down your back like ink in water.

“And our eyes are locked in downcast love…”

Your eyes met his, the twinkle in them almost blinding him before he could pretend to look away and be interested in anything else.

For a moment, neither of you moved. The song, of course, droned on in the background like a cruel soundtrack to his unbecoming.

You tilted your head, lips lifting into a knowing smile, like you were fully aware of the effect you had on Jeongguk, even by just standing there. Just by simultaneously coexisting in front of him.

“Jeongguk.”

He swore you said his name like it was yours.

“You’re here,” was all he managed. His words were barely spoken, drifting like mist and condensing on the painting next to him. Honestly, it felt a bit pathetic—what he said—but you smiled wider, nonetheless.

“Jimin slipped it into conversation,” you replied, stepping closer. He could see the glitter you lined your eyes with. “Told me you’ve been moping around in galleries like a sad little poet.”

He groaned, running a hand down his face. “No, he didn’t.”

“Oh, he did,” you laughed a little. “Even told me that you wore your ‘special’ shoes tonight.”

Jeongguk looked down, half expecting his brogues to start sinking into the ground out of sheer humiliation.

You stopped beside him, nudging him softly. “I like them.”

His laugh was disbelieving—the kind that crinkled the skin around his eyes and displayed the little freckle under his lip.

“Didn’t think you were gonna be back anytime soon,” he said quietly, hoping in the way he phrased it.

You shrugged. “Only for a little while. Maybe longer.”

He wasn’t sure what to say. He’d spent months thinking about all the things he might’ve said if you were ever in his presence again, but now that you really were—so achingly near, close enough to smell that jasmine scent again—his brain had fried itself and was devoid of any thoughts.

But you, as always, were the lighthouse in a storm.

“Hi,” you simply said. This wasn’t a greeting. It was a reset.

Jeongguk swallowed nervously.

“Hi.”

Joy bloomed in the creases by your eyes.

“See? That wasn’t so hard.”

He smiled at you sheepishly.

You turned your attention to the painting he’d been staring at before—the chaotic mix of colours that had once mirrored his internal disarray. He glanced at it and noticed how the mess seemed to fade towards the edge into two distinct lines of tranquillity. Huh.

“It’s pretty intense,” you said, studying the canvas.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk replied. “S’pose that makes sense, though.”

You glanced at him. “Because you’re feeling like it?”

He hesitated. Then nodded. “You kinda… do that to me.”

Your smile wavered for a millisecond—not in a bad way. In a breath-caught kind of way. A quiet pause before your expression softened.

“Good,” you whispered. “Because you—”

The ringing of your name being called across the gallery ceased the little conversation you were having.

You sighed, eyebrows furrowing, and looked over.

Jeongguk reluctantly tore his gaze from your face and followed yours over to see a man striding over. He was tall. Well-dressed. And very clearly knew you, the way he sauntered over, arms wide open in welcome. His coat flared slightly as he walked to your corner and had that laid-back, easy grin that made Jeongguk’s eye twitch in irritation.

Without hesitation, you stepped towards him, situating yourself into his arms that wrapped all the way around you. It was déjà vu—the way the hug looked so familiar to him. It was too close. And too long.

Jeongguk stood motionless.

His hands hung awkwardly at his sides, fingers alternating between being clenched into fists or flexing involuntarily with nerves… or something more. He tried to understand what the hell was happening in front of him—and what you were on the verge of saying—but he was all too distracted by the lack of space between you and that stranger.

When you finally pulled away, the guy leaned in to say something close to your ear. Jeongguk didn't miss the way your eyes flickered briefly back to him and away, like it never happened. You faltered.

“I’ll be back in a second,” you told him quickly, that ever-present softness in your voice still lingering, but dimmed. “I’ll catch you later, Jeonggukie, okay?”

He nodded. Tried to smile, but it came out more like a wince. Tried to let the sting not pierce his skin too deeply.

“Sure,” he replied. “Later.”

And with that, you walked off, arm in the stranger’s, and Jeongguk’s heart in your hand.

His posture sagged in small defeat, and he glanced towards Jimin, who was nearing him, sipping his wine and observing the turmoil Jeongguk was experiencing.

Jimin caught his eyes and raised a singular eyebrow with a smirk.

“Are you just gonna stand there?”

Jeongguk forced out a bitter laugh and brought his hands into his pockets.

“I’m fine.”

He knew he was lying. Jimin knew he was lying. The random women giving him a look as they walked past knew he was lying as well.

Every laugh that flowed from your lips felt like a knife digging into an old wound. When the stranger brushed a small strand of your hair behind your ear, Jeongguk scoffed, pushing his tongue against the inside of his cheek and looked away.

He found himself shuffling closer to Jimin, letting the small talk between him and his best friend become a barrier to hide behind.

Your eyes met his once across the room, and you offered him a small smile—but Jeongguk looked away before the moment could unfold into anything more. Instead, he watched you weave in and out of the crowd, integrating into fruitless conversation yet still capturing the attention of everyone in the room.

“Maybe I should’ve asked who he was,” Jeongguk muttered under his breath to Jimin, who just chuckled and patted his shoulder.

“Chill, man,” he teased. “You’ll see her again. I’m sure.”

Jeongguk wanted to believe it—really he did—but it was hard to when that ‘later’ never came.

You disappeared into the night with the man—that Jeongguk never figured out the name of—like mist beneath the stars. And Jeongguk had waited, eyes constantly scanning the gallery until closing. Even helped the staff clean up the bar and stack some chairs, just in case you popped back in.

You didn’t.

Jeongguk was seething.

Well—not exactly seething. More so… mildly agitated. The kind of agitation that was so close to spilling over the surface and onto everyone around him.

The house was too warm.

The people too loud.

The lights too dim.

He wasn't even sure why he was there– sure it was his house, but Namjoon had convinced him to host a small party with familiar faces, ‘friends-of-friends’ so he would finally loosen up.

He’d spent the last half of the hour sipping on the same drink and dodging the half-drunk people that attempted to make conversation with him.

That, and the god-awful playlist Jimin had put on. It was like Jimin was stuck being heartbroken or pumping his fist at a rave with the kind of music you just had to vibe with.

And currently Jeongguk did not vibe with it.

He kinda nodded his head to heartbreak songs though - he supposed he could relate just a tad.

He hadn’t heard from you since the night at the gallery.

Nothing.

And it’s not like you were obligated to - numbers weren’t even exchanged - but Jeongguk’s hope was a persistent little bastard that maybe, just maybe thought you would ask Jimin for his number and check up on him.

And it wasn’t like Jeongguk hadn’t tried the same. He gave up on the subtle hints to Jimin and had straight up asked for your number, even though he was turned down - rather quickly- with the words,

“If it was meant to be, she would come to give it to you herself.”

Jeongguk sighs at the memory, nursing his drink and glaring into the clear liquid as if it had caused him personal anguish. The laughter of those around him fades in and out of his hearing. Everything is duller, like the colour had been vacuumed out from the room. He’s partly tempted to pull an Irish goodbye at his own party and just leave. Maybe grab his walkman on the way out to play a song that didn’t emotionally scar him.

But then he sees you.

You, standing by the kitchen island, in conversation with Namjoon. You, lit like a spotlight found you despite the purposely dim lighting. And you, head tipped back slightly, laughing at something Namjoon is saying. Gone is the tan coat, replaced by an off- the- shoulder black top that clings to your figure. Gone are the effortless waves, swapped for your hair pinned back, emphasising the delicate nature of your neck.

Jeongguk freezes, glass halfway to his mouth, breath lodging in his throat. You looked dreamlike, standing out amongst the crowd, like an advert he’d seen on television one too many times. He wouldn’t dare to skip out on you— not after knowing the smile you could give him.

When did you get here?

He doesn’t even realise Jimin has slipped into the little corner of the couch that Jeongguk was practically sprawled on until a shoulder nudges his own.

“You’re doing it again,” Jimin teases, sounding far too happy considering his playlist.

“What thing?” Jeongguk hisses, eyes locking onto the way you seamlessly flit around the kitchen.

“The ‘I’ve-dreamed-about-her-every-day-and-can’t-believe-she’s-here’ thing.”

Jeongguk scowls and shoves Jimin lightly, but his eyes don't stray. You haven’t noticed him yet.

He can’t decide if that’s mercy or torment.

“She knows, doesn’t she?” he asks.

The smug silence of his friend is enough.

“She asked me if you’d ever want to see her face again. I said you were a sucker for pretty faces and that she should come and find out for herself.”

Jeongguk gapes.

“You’re such a menace.”

“Well it worked, didn’t it? She’s here. In the flesh.” Jimin grins, clapping a hand down on Jeongguk’s back. “Maybe she wanted free drinks. Or… see you.”

Jeongguk ignores Jimin’s banter, eyes still tracking your every movement. The way your fingers tap against your glass. Or the way your gaze occasionally drifts from whoever you were talking to, and sweeps across the room —but never quite meets his.

And still, Jeongguk doesn’t approach you. Can't get himself to move up from that sofa. The weight in his chest keeps him tethered down. The unspoken words claw at his throat like before.

So he sips his drink. And waits.

The party hums around him, low and warm like the static of one of his vinyls that was left on too long.

You pass by him once, ever so briefly.

And in that one incandescent moment, your hand brushes his — hanging over the back of the couch—as you slide past on the way to the hallway. He doesn’t look up, but he knows it’s you, he feels it’s you. The absence of your touch shouldn’t linger the way it does

He doesn’t see where you go. Doesn’t even register why he’s following the scent of your perfume until his feet lead him to the hallway. Past the kitchen, past the shoes by the door, and away from the loud thrum of the party.

The bathroom door near the back end of his apartment iss half-open, an amber glow spilling through.

He raps his knuckles against the door.

“Occupied?”

A soft voice calls out.

“Yeah - give me a sec!”

But that voice…he knows it. He knows it too well.

Jeongguk pushes the door slightly - just a little further.

And there you are. Standing at the mirror, fingers fixing the wing of your eyeliner, with the smallest concentration crease forming between your brows. You see him in the reflection and halt your actions.

“Sorry-” he starts, already turning around to go back.

But you spin around, swiping a finger across the corner of your eyes.

“Wait Jeongguk.”

He freezes. The air is heavy, electricity tingling in the way that makes the space feel so much smaller than it already is..

“I was gonna leave,” you say after a beat, eyes searching his. “I…I didn't think you wanted to talk to me.”

“I thought you didn’t.”

A momentary pause. The tension doesn’t dissipate, only grows thicker, encircling the two of you like entertainment in a cage.

“I was waiting,” you start, “I didn’t want to interrupt. I wasn’t sure if…”

You don’t finish your sentence.

Jeongguk steps in. Closes the door behind him with a muted click.

“You came,” he murmurs, voice barely a decibel above a breath.

You smile at him. “I was told by a certain someone that if I wanted your number, I should come get it myself.”

Jeongguk gives a quiet laugh and steps closer to you.

“Funny. I was also told something similar. What are the chances it was the same person?”

You move forward, and lean up to him.

“A hundred percent.”

Your laughter at his expression is more subdued this time, eyes fluttering down to the space between you both—or the lack of. It’s close. So close. He can smell the fragrance radiating off of you, the floral scent ingrained into his head. He’s not sure if it’s his pulse or yours echoing so loudly in the confined room.

“I was going to ask for it,” you say, voice softer now. “At the gallery.”

“I wanted to kiss you,” Jeongguk blurts.

It slips out. Honest. Raw. And unguarded.

Your eyes snap up to his, plush lips parting slightly, startled but… not afraid. Not uncomfortable.

“Why didn’t you?”

“You left with someone else.”

You nod. “That wasn’t what you think.”

Jeongguk doesn’t want to ask. He doesn’t want to ruin this moment. He’ll face the repercussions later—as long as he’s allowed in your presence for more than twenty minutes.

Your hands move. Brush down your sides, like you’re trying to ground yourself. Or preparing for something. His hands twitch. He wants to touch you. He wants to remember how your fingers felt against his jaw. But he waits. Waits for you to make the first move.

He’s done seeking first.

Your hand lifts slowly to his chest, palm lying flat over his sternum, right where his heartbeat betrays him. You can feel it. He’s sure.

“You’re still nervous,” you whisper.

“I’ve never wanted something so bad in my life.”

The air cracks.

Your fingers slide up lazily. Up to the collar of his shirt Tugging him. Testing the waters.

“Hi,” you say.

That’s all he needs.

He’s moving before he can process his actions, lips pressing to yours in a kiss that doesn’t ask permission—but it doesn’t need to. It’s slow at first. Hesitant. Like he’s making sure you’re really there. That this isn’t another cruel memory that would fade before he even woke up.

But when you sigh against his mouth, tilting your head just enough and nudging your nose against his—

Something inside of him explodes.

His hands find your waist, pulling you flush against him, mouth pressing with more desperation, tongue sweeping past your lips when you part them with a soft whimper that nearly undoes him. Your hands tangle in his hair, anchoring yourself as he kisses you like he’d been waiting a lifetime.

The counter is cold against the back of your thighs as he lifts you onto it, barely stopping to catch his breath. His hand wedges around your hips, thumbs dragging across the sliver of skin where your shirt rides up.

You gasp into his mouth as he pulls you closer, chest to chest, heat unfurling between you like a wildfire.

He pulls back when you tug lightly on his hair, lips red and kiss-swollen, eyes hazy but focused.

“Hi,” you breathe out.

Jeongguk grins against your mouth.

“Hi baby,”

He reaches behind him, turning the lock on the door before moving for you again. His hands move with a practiced ease - the nerves from before nowhere to be found - as his hands slip under the hem of your shirt, warm fingers tracing the soft curve of your waist. His lips never leave yours, kisses rougher now, and more urgent.

Your breath mingles with his, hands clenching the fabric of his shirt, drawing him in closer, a siren in disguise.

His body presses firmly against yours, hips aligning, heat between you flaring.

With a quiet grunt, Jeongguk shifts, lifting you higher on the counter. His hands roam lower, fingers teasing the edge of your skirt, fingers dipping below the waistband. You arch into his touch, breath hitching and fingers tightening.

His mouth finds your jaw and he trails down, nipping gently before moving again - neck, collarbone, the skin below your shirt - a trail of fire in his wake.

Your fingers tangle in his hair once more, tugging, urging him deeper and harder. Jeongguk’s hands drift beneath your skirt, skimming the smoothness of your skin— inching toward that sensitive spot that makes you shiver.

He looks up at you, knees resting on the ground. Neither of you speak. The world’s shrunk to the heat of skin on skin, and the desperation laced into your frantic breaths.

He lifts your skirt up tentatively, eyes meeting yours in a silent ask. You nod. Oh how badly you need this.

Jeongguk’s fingers rub against your hip bones as he inches forwards. He presses soft kisses up your thigh, pausing when he meets your sweet spot.

“Jeongguk,” you whisper, voice shaky with anticipation.

He nudges his nose against you, “I’m here.”

He glances up at you once more, long enough to meet your eyes - dark, smouldering, and utterly focused on you - before diving in again. His tongue brushes against your underwear, rubbing up against you in a slow, teasing dance, exploring the promise in every touch.

You cry out, hands tightening at the edge of the counter, legs fighting the urge to close around his head. Jeongguk clamps his hands around your outer thighs, stabilising and ruining you at the same time.

He smiles against the lace of your underwear as you grip his hair, tongue lapping up any hint of your approaching climax. He licks deeper and triumphs as you call his name out once more, thighs trembling by his ears.

Burrowing himself deeper under your skirt, he almost halts his actions.

What if you think that he only wanted you for sex? What if this is a fleeting moment that won’t be rediscovered?

But before the irrational thoughts can settle, your hands pull on his hair, begging for him to come back up. He complies, clambering up, shaking his knees out and looks at you.

Meeting your tear stricken eyes, guilt settles in his chest,

“Are you-”

“I need you in me. Now. Jeongguk…please.”

And there it is.

His chest tightens like a wave crashing against the shore, relentless and full of emotion. This isn’t just affection he feels for you, this is an all-consuming force that pushes past reason.

He nods and reaches for his jeans. Doesn’t bother with pulling his jeans all the way off, just slides them down past his butt. Reaches for his length, stiff with need and leaking with arousal.

One. Two. Three pumps and he grasps for the back of your thighs before pushing into you. He lets out a low moan into your ear, loudening as you squeeze around him. He falls forwards, hands falling beside you.

“B-baby, don’t do that, I’ll finish,” he murmurs along your neck, nibbling gently at the column of your throat.

Your arms clasp around his neck, nails clawing at his shoulders.

“Sorry… I’m just nervous,”

Jeongguk leans back. Smiles down at you and reaches for your hand. Fingers spanning the entirety of your wrist, he places your palm against his heart, mimicking your actions before.

“Me too,”

You melt at his words. Literally. Jeongguk feels you loosen up around him, nails no longer digging half crescents into his skin. He lets out a short breath and pulls back to the tip, before pressing into you again… and again.

You moan, head tilting back, one hand holding his, resting on your waist, the other, turning white with how tightly you were gripping the counter.

Jeongguk grabs the back of your neck, encouraging you to meet his eyes. He had your attention now —only his—and he wasn’t going to lose it.

There’s something so vulnerable about this position. Neither of you are fully unclothed, but you’re practically baring your hearts to each other.

Setting a steady pace, Jeongguk snaps his hips into you, grunting with every thrust, moving you further up the ledge next to the sink. He reaches around for your ass and pulls you closer. The movement shifts your positions slightly, where he’s deeper, and firmer inside of you..

“J-Jeongguk,” you rasp.

He thrusts harder, lewd noises of skin meeting skin filling the air. Reaches down and rubs a finger against you,

“Come on baby. You can do it,”

Your back arches, curving into Jeongguk’s hands as you release—hot, sticky cum coating him and the inside of your thighs. You pulse frantically around him, pushing him forwards, moaning as your orgasm rips through you.

Your arms give out, collapsing against the mirror above the sink with a broken whimper as you try and come down from your high.

“Oh fuck,” Jeongguk groans, pulling out, leaving you mourning the loss of him inside of you.

He jerks himself, hand fisted tightly around his cock, wrists moving with a rapid pace, hips stuttering and he chases his own climax.

You watch with bated breaths as his head tilts back, lip bitten raw in pleasure. A deep groan escapes him as his pace slows down, hips twitching forwards and he spills across your thighs in thick ropes. He fucks himself through his orgasm, one hand holding yours as he paints your skin milky.

He exhales as the last of his cum leaks out, and lets go of your hands to wipe the sweat lining his forehead.

He meets your eyes and lets out a little chuckle.

Leans forwards and pecks your nose. Your cheek. And then your forehead . You giggle at him and reach for a towel - to which he snatches it out of your hands, before running it under hot water. He swipes it across your thighs in gentle strokes, like he didn't just obliterate you and cleans himself up.

He pulls his jeans up, buckles his belt and pulls down your skirt. Reaching for your waist, he helps you hop off the counter.

You move towards the door, but he pulls you back.

You meet his eyes. He swallows.

“I don’t want this to end. Ever.”

You look at him through your lashes and tuck a strand of his hair back.

“I’m gonna need your number first baby.”

Jeongguk grins, a smile lighting up his face as he wrenches the door open, hurrying for his phone that he left around somewhere.

Sunlight spills softly through the blind, casting warm stripes across the room where Jeongguk lies, you tucked under his arm. The quiet buzz of the city is distant, an otherworldly place that you’ve both stepped away from for a while. His arm rests loosely over your waist, arms sliding the hem of his t-shirt up as he traces small circles on your thigh.

For once, the voracious thoughts that constantly plagued his mind seem to have quietened down, leaving the calm weight of you beside him and the thrilling, quiet certainty of what happened last night.

You meet his eyes, and he smiles, dimples burrowing in his cheeks. No words are exchanged. This moment - this morning - is enough.

Jeongguk nudges his nose against yours,

“Can you accept my instagram request?”

You look up at him, eyebrows drawn together in confusion,

“Wha-”

The door creaks open and Jimin steps inside with an infuriatingly wide grin.

He laughs, breaking the tranquility of the morning.

“By the way, Jeonggukie, I know what your favourite song is.”

Jeongguk stares at him, processing his words as Jimin’s teasing smile grows bigger.

“Okay?”

“And I’m also really good at making people play whatever songs I want.”

Jeongguk freezes. No way. He can’t be… that fucking little-

1K notes · View notes

h1biscusgal · 3 months ago

Text

Tee hee y'all, i'm not back but i loved y'all sm so take this subliminal i took six days to perfect.

I AM NOT BACK, NO, I AM SO SORRY.

my studying session been going good AND YALLLLLLL I MISS YOU SO MUCH, I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN.

so, last week, when i closed tumblr, my mind was reeling from one thing it kept repeating itself:

"i wanna give smth to my people in tumblr."

why? i've seen people having problems for the void, i've seen people say they are so close but their "heartbeat" stops them, some say they sleep without knowing.

so i thought.

"mf, why not a subliminal that will fucking guarantee you to enter IN EVERRRYYYY situation?"

think you need to keep awake? this sub

think you need to sleep to enter the void? still this sub

need to enter while using it? this sub

need to enter but can't have your phone with you during sleep? again this sub, you can listen to it during the day and try at night.

like WHATEVER the fuck you do, i have made a loophole for it, now for god's sake please be careful, it gave me such a headache making it my head is still pounding, it has PURE fucking delta waves and 5 set of repeated NON-LAYERED NOT TOO SPED UP affirmations, why?

these are the safest type of affirmations that penetrate the subconscious, i cannot express this enough please.

PLEASE BE FUCKING CAREFUL WITH IT, DON'T LOOP TOO MUCH, DELTA WAVES CAN MAKE YOU DEADASS TIRED.

now this? holy shit this? i call it my beautiful Voided Hibiscus project, and yes i love hibiscuses-

this sub???

here's the benefits:

Voided Hibiscus is a one-of-a-kind, high-power subliminal crafted to guarantee entry into the Void State — no matter your state of mind, environment, or experience level.

Whether you're lying still or fidgeting, wide awake or asleep, listening consciously or with it running in the background — the moment this subliminal activates, the Void becomes inevitable, it is fucking guaranteed and i made so sure of it by science.

During these exact 22 minutes and 22 seconds, your mind will swallow THE LITERAL definition of "master at void." The affirmations are layered with master precision — spoken, whispered, echoed, reversed — to penetrate the deepest layers of the subconscious, bypassing every mental block, doubt, or distraction. Delta isochronic tones pulse beneath the surface, gently entraining your brain to the perfect frequency of surrender, silence, and awareness, like ya'll i am NOT playing.

This is for you if:

You want to enter the Void effortlessly, with full certainty.

You want to enter during the day, or while sleeping — either way works.

You’re tired of trying methods and want results without effort.

You want a subliminal that works permanently — even after you stop listening.

Features:

Affirmations that dissolve fidgeting, overthinking, boredom, and resistance.

Built-in confidence: You will never doubt your ability to enter the void again.

Repetition formula designed to rewrite your subconscious with absolute certainty.

Works even if you accidentally fall asleep.

Activates the Void even when played silently or in the background.

After consistent listening, your command over the Void becomes instinctual.

like mf, you is the bored type? you is the annoyed impatient as fuck type? you is the type to try for 2 minutes and give up? homie this shit will throw you in the void while you move, fidget, breathe hard, feeling bored, sleep accidentally.

like what the fuck am i supposed to do next-

THIS CAN BE USED IN THREE WAYS:

awake method: lay down and have it on your head (no mf you won't sleep accidentally and ruin it bc i backed it up that you'll wake up there) and simply repeat affs for it, watch yourself enter without even knowing how the fuck you entered, i swear if you trust? you'll enter within the duration of those 22 minutes and 22 seconds, there's no "when", it's like a guarantee.

sleep method: if you is the type that yo parents let you have your phone with you? use it overnight and watch yourself wake up in the void.

thru-theday method: just listen to it during the day and do any method before sleep or just anywhere and bam.

there's no "how" here, this sub? almost made me tumble, i am not tryna brag, no seriously, but i thought to post smth that helps ppl, now let me stop yapping the fuck out and take this:

(so sorry for this quick and messy post-)

youtube

good luck loves, and send me the asks and messages coming! i'll be on here for a very few minutes and see what asks there is to answer.

EDIT: I AM SORRY WHAT THE FUCK???? LAST TIME I CHECKED I HAD 661 FOLLOWERS NOW IT'S A 1700 SMTH????? I AM SCREAMING PLEASE I LOVE YALL SO MUCH??? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT I WANNA CRY PLEASE.

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a-simple-imagine · 1 year ago

Text

Perfectly Pathetic

synopsis: when you take an interest in the new girl, regina takes an interest in you

pairing: regina george x plastics!fem!reader

words: 4.6k+

A/N - in the nicest of ways, please DO NOT read this if you don't want to read about toxic relationships. you have been warned. I don't want a repeat of last time. also we need more fics where regina is actually mean so

WARNINGS - swearing, alcohol use, general toxicity, toxic relationships and bullying/vague reference to weight

Buy me a ko-fi

the clash of plastic trays and idle chatter brought alive the fragile student body of North Shore High School. on the outside this may seem like any other lunch room but inside it was a carefully crafted game of chess. every move was calculated. each person has their place and if you stray too far you're at risk. you're sat next to Gretchen Weiners. known for big hair and keeping secrets, she knows everything about everyone. opposite her is Karen Shetty. she... tries her best and looks adorable doing it. a ray of sunshine if you get to know her. and before you sits the most beautiful woman you have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Regina George. effortlessly perfect but needlessly cruel. she was the most popular person in school and one of your best friends.

perfectly manicured nails stab into the skin of your cheek as your head is yanked in her direction. razor-sharp eyes stare back. "are you even listening?" the answer was no but you didn't want to say that. "what are you staring at?"

a flash of blonde as she looks behind her. you push against her grip to look too. across the room sat Janis 'imi'ike and Damian Hubbard. you hardly ever spoke to them but you were lab partners with Damian. he was funny. today, however, there was a new addition with strawberry blonde hair, a blue checkered shirt and brown pants. you knew everyone at this school to some degree. a curse of popularity. but you had never seen her before. "seems they've got themselves a new friend"

"who cares," her nails dig a little deeper drawing a pained expression as she pulls your head back to face her. She holds your gaze for a moment. a silent challenge. before fingertips glide across your cheek and she goes back to leading the conversation across the table. you pick at the food on the tray with a fork but you can't help but be intrigued. North Shore was boring and predictable. a direct result of being under Regina's control. but this girl was new and you couldn't help but be drawn to that. to the unknown. to the possibility. three pairs of eyes as you push up from the table and march across the room.

"I haven't seen you around here before." was all you could think to say as you approached the end of the table. Janis and Damian share a look before settling on... confusion. You weren't ever particularly mean to others but you were guilty by association. people mess with you. they mess with Regina.

"oh," by the look on her face, she already knew who you were or at the very least your friends. "it's my first day."

"Where did you transfer from?"

"uh... Kenya," she seems unsure. you put it down to nerves.

"you sure about that?" a curious raise of your brow. "'cause you don't sound-"

"we're leaving" stated firmly as three girls breeze past. the blonde leads the way. the other two are just a step behind.

"so what made you move all the way here from Kenya?"

"my mom got a new job."

"couldn't find one-"

the sound of your name echoes through the room bringing the world to a stop. a weird silence settles over the room. "come. now." growled through gritted teeth and paired with snapping fingers. you were being summoned like a naughty dog ignoring their owner. a sigh as all eyes fall to you. waiting to see what you'd do but make no mistake, they already knew the answer.

"I'll see you around." a flash of a smile before you scamper after Regina.

"so your ears do work." is all the girl says as she shoves you through the door. you bite back any comment because that was how this worked. you may be top of the food chain to everyone else but Regina led the pack.

as the final bell for the day rings, you're shoving things in your locker when you spot the new girl. she seems to be struggling to even open it. you watch her for a moment. a smirk settling. this was another chance to talk and this time Regina couldn't demand your presence. "need some help?" it seemed to take her by surprise as a handful of papers drifted to the floor. a small chuckle, you reach down to collect her work and hand it back. "how's your first day going?"

she shrugs, taking the papers. "it's alright."

"anyone giving you any trouble?" you ask, falling to lean against the lockers. people around here were not nice and took every chance to show it. some more than others. She shakes her head. "you sure? if anyone does anything, I can sort them out." you give her a knowing look and she offers a sort of amused smile. "so you do know how to smile, it's cute. are you gonna tell me your name or am I gonna have to guess?"

"it's cady. Cady heron."

"well, cady heron. the trick to these," you tap her locker door with your knuckle. "is to push in and pull up before trying to open it. annoying, I know but they're old." you watch her try again and this time it swings open. "see."

"Thanks." you linger as they shove some of their stuff inside. you notice a few stray stickers on the locker opposite.

"no problem." you push up from the metal. "I can show you all types of tricks to get through this hellscape if you want?" she shuts her locker and you both start walking towards the exit. "number one tip, avoid Regina."

"Isn't she your friend?"

"yeah," you nod. "that's why I said it. She can be... a lot. surely Janis told you that."

Cady looks at you for a long moment. "something like that." you let out a chuckle. Janis probably told her what a massive bitch Regina was. they had a less than favourable history.

"I should go. I'll see you around Cady Heron." as you both go your separate ways, you can't help but glance at her as she walks away.

having a study period just before lunch was both an absolutely ridiculous idea and the best thing to happen to your schedule. it basically guaranteed you didn't do any work whatsoever and felt more like a two-hour lunch period. seems you shared it with the new girl because she was sitting at a table scribbling in a book alongside Janis who was doing her normal embroidery or whatever.

"if it isn't Cady Heron," you comment, taking a seat on the bench. her face brightens at the sight.

"where's the rest of the coven?" Janis asks, not even bothering to look up from her work. "wait- don't tell me, a house fell on them."

"you're so funny Janis," an exaggerated sarcastic laugh.

"I think I can hear children singing... ding... dong the witch-"

"So Cady, how are you enjoying north shore?" you interrupt loudly and the 'song' trails off.

"It's fine."

"you don't talk much huh?"

her mouth opens but falls silent as Gretchen approaches the end of the table. she shoots you a less than favourable look. your brow furrows a little.

"Can I talk to you," pitch a little too high to say no.

"Sure," a shrug. you look at her for a long moment waiting for her to continue.

"in private," Gretchen urges. with a roll of your eyes, you stand up. flashing a smile at Cady, Gretchen grabs your hand and drags you away before you can say anything.

"what are you doing?" whisper yelled at you.

"I was just talking." god this girl was dramatic. you take your usual spot. she sits opposite.

"to the art freaks?"

"dude, it's fine."

"no it's not." she urges quickly, shaking her head "You know how Regina gets."

"Regina isn't here?" and she wouldn't be until lunch. only you and Gretchen share this free period. usually, you spend it listening to her gossip about people. she could not keep a secret to save her life at least not when it came to anyone outside of you and your friends; even then it's dicey. fun for you though.

"All I'm saying is you need to be careful,"

"don't worry. I was only interested in the new girl."

"that's worse," you just roll your eyes. "Regina doesn't like her."

"Regina doesn't even know her," you argue. "none of us do. she's been here like a week."

Gretchen thinks the idea of even wanting to talk to Cady is blasphemy. that it's better to avoid her but you think she's overreacting. Cady hadn't established herself at this school yet. right now she is with Janis but tomorrow who knows? she could be cool. it's a matter of perspective.

a pretty perfect smile does little to distract from playful eyes as you approach her jeep. the blonde is in the driver's seat. one hand rested over the steering wheel. the other typing something on her phone. She had sent a message telling you to hurry up but on arrival, neither Karen nor Gretchen were even here yet. you toss your bag in the back, climbing into your usual spot behind the driver's seat. Karen is usually next to you. "sit in the front, weirdo," she comments. you don't bother with a comeback, just moving to the front passenger seat.

"Where are the others?" you ask, glancing at her. the soft glow of the afternoon sun kissed her skin beautifully. black shades hang on the end of her nose. She really was something to be admired. Regina shrugs and then tosses her phone down. the car roars to life and you're starting down the road before you can think any more about it. it's pretty silent at first. the sound of the radio filling the space. the lack of your two other friends acting as a buffer was sitting weirdly. this wasn't your first time alone with Regina but she's been so grumpy lately. whatever you say feels like an invitation.

"so you like the new girl?" asked casually as she came to an abrupt stop at a red light. you just forward, the seatbelt digging into your neck. it drags up a quick cough but that could also be from surprise. other than that first interaction where she'd summoned you from across the room, you had never spoken to Cady when she was around. Gretchen may be dramatic but she probably wasn't wrong and you really didn't feel like risking it.

"Sorry?" feign confusion was... a choice but it seemed like the better option here.

"you like the new girl," repeated calmly; her eyes drift to you as yours move towards the traffic light. was this the longest red light in history? "right?"

now it's your turn to shrug. you find Cady intriguing but you're not entirely sure if it's interested in the way Regina is implying or just because you were so bored of the every day. "she's cool." a scoff as she pulls away continuing down the road. "you've hardly spoken to her."

"don't need to," Regina didn't miss a beat. Cady definitely didn't fit into what she'd consider cool but then again, neither had you. not entirely anyway and now you're here. you hang out with the most popular people in school. went to the hottest parties. you were currently being driven around by the Regina George. you never understood why or maybe you did and just refused to accept it was that simple. you know what everyone else says. that it's because of the attention you show her. you wouldn't necessarily say they're wrong but everyone gave her attention. She did always say there was something special about you. "I thought you at least had standards."

the rest of the car ride is silent as you think over what she said and Regina keeps to herself. the music is the only thing, keeping you sane until you pull up at the George residence. you always forget just how big her house is until you're there. As you walk inside, her mum appears abruptly startling you a little.

"hey, ms. George."

"hey girls," she singsonged. "how was school?"

"fine," Regina shoots back.

"well if you need anything? a drink? some snacks? advice? I'm here,"

"I'd actually love an iced-"

"we're good," growled as she grabbed your wrist hauling you up the stairs. "don't bother us." a confused look but she didn't let go until you were firmly inside her bedroom. door slammed shut. the blonde tosses her bag down.

"you should really be nicer to your mom, she adores you," you say idly taking a seat on the end of her bed, placing your bag down.

"you should shut up because it's none of your fucking business."

jesus christ. you kinda regret the decision to come over. "I just wanted an iced tea. maybe a little snack."

"god knows you don't need it," Regina comments. wow. okay. she was in a mood.

"what's up with you?"

"I'm fine," she responds. "you're just being so fucking annoying recently."

"I haven't done anything?" you've not been acting any differently so you have no clue what she's talking about.

"just absolutely drooling over the new girl. it's embarrassing." she declares, taking a seat on the bed.

"I..." you stop yourself because you're more confused than anything else. "we've spoken like once."

"liar" she responds. "I know you've been talking all the time," fucking Gretchen. "do you think she's pretty?"

"Cady?" Regina nods. you shrug. "I guess."

"prettier than me?" her head tilts. you can't tell if she was jealous or fishing for compliments; neither was her style. so it was probably a trap.

"no." you wanna say she's being dramatic but that wouldn't end well. She doesn't say anything, hardly even reacts. just cold eyes. Is she expecting you to say more? "of course not." you're waiting for the ball to drop. for her to make a snide comment or something. anything was better than nothing. but it just never comes. she takes out her phone and starts typing. you fall back on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. you both just sit in the quiet. you're worried about saying anything that'll lead to more insults. god knows what she is doing on her phone.

"you're so pathetic." Regina eventually says. you'd take offence if you weren't used to it; basically a term of endearment at this point. you can hear her moving but don't bother looking until she's towering over you. dark eyes and a small smile that would seem genuine coming from anyone else. a hand cups your cheek but no nails follow; it's gentle and slow as she runs her thumb over your skin. what was happening right now? "do you ever think about me?" you blink a few times trying to make sense of everything. why was she being so nice? why was she being so gentle? why did she ask that?

"what do you mean?"

a roll of her pretty eyes. "you know what I mean." you did but surely not.

"I... don't know what to say."

"Because I think about you," your breathing hitches as you sit up. looking at her properly. "those pretty eyes," she moves closer. "these lips," her thumb runs over your bottom lip. you swallow hard. "do you wanna kiss me?" you just stare back. a smirk as she ghosts your lips.

"say you wanna kiss me." this felt cruel. you lean in and she pulls back slightly. a finger pressed against your lips. her expression is colder now. sharp. "say it."

"I... wanna kiss you," you dare and that smirk quickly returns. removing her finger, Regina leans in and connects your lips. it's soft and slow. not at all like you imagined kissing Regina George would feel like... until the girl pushes into you and it's exactly like you imagined. fast. forceful. like she wanted to devour you. A hand pushes you back against her massive bed and she moves to straddle your hips. your heart is beating so loudly you wouldn't be surprised if she could hear it.

"still thinking about the new girl?"

"I never-" You feel her press a little harder against your chest so you change your answer. "no." Regina tosses her hair over one shoulder, and a finger under your chin pushes your head up.

"I don't think you should talk to her anymore," Regina states before leaning down to connect your lips once more. "understood?"

you're too caught up in the moment to really gauge how serious she was being so you nod. "good girl." whispered against your lips.

Regina George had always been a lot. She always demanded attention and you often gave her it. you weren't ashamed of that. She knew you'd do anything for her. As did most of the school.

"Hey," Cady suddenly appears beside you in the hallway. she seems a lot more relaxed around you which was nice to see. however, you have not spoken to them since that weird night with Regina. She wouldn't like it. plus Gretchen would probably snitch on you immediately. "so we should probably figure out a time to work on our project." you've been paired up for an assignment in American literature.

"We can do it today after school if you want?" she nods. "I'll meet you out front."

"hey Cady," Karen slides up beside you on the other side, instantly looping your arms. ever the pleasant company. you wonder if she just wanted to see you or get you away from Cady. probably the former.

"I'll see you later," you say to the new girl before turning to your friend. "what do you want?"

"you're coming to Connor's party Saturday?"

"Obviously,"

"I have the perfect-"

"no," you respond instantly. you loved Karen. she was genuinely the sweetest person you know. but at every party, she tries to give you a Karen Shetty special aka a makeover. and every single time you have to say no.

"but I have the perfect outfit for you."

"is it actually perfect for me or just slutty."

"Both," Karen states excitedly. "please," pleading eyes as she draws you closer, hugging your arm. "please please please."

a loud groan. "fine."

"Really?" her eyes light up and circulation quickly returns to your arm. you nod at her which leads to excited clapping. maybe it wouldn't be so bad. maybe it was the perfect outfit for you but also sexy enough to satisfy Karen.

"oh here," you reach into your bag and produce a homemade friendship bracelet. you'd been tutoring some younger students for extra credit but sometimes you just hung out with them. "made them with some of the kids so,"

"ah thank you," she takes it eagerly. you had one for Gretchen and Regina too. only one of them would appreciate it though.

"why were you chatting with Cady?" Karen asks, sliding on her bracelet as she takes your arm once more.

"we're doing a project together," you explain. "you were literally just in class with us Karen."

"oh yeah," she smiles brightly. "I'm starving." you chuckle a little and allow her to eagerly pull you towards the dining room.

you're sitting on the grass. Cady is talking in your ear as you stare into the distance. most students had gone home already. The rest were working on homework or projects or extracurricular activities. you arranged this meeting but god were you bored. no offence to Cady but you kinda wish you'd been paired with Karen so you could be fucking about right now and then rush the work the night before it's due.

"are you going to the party Saturday?" you ask idly.

"What party?"

"oh shit." you forgot she was hanging out with Janis and Damian who definitely wouldn't have been invited. "connor mckay is having a party. The dudes a mess, big house though. you should come,"

"don't think I was invited,"

"I'm inviting you."

"not sure that's how it works."

"Just come Cady," you insist. "you can bring Janis and Damian too if you want. everyone will be too fucked to notice."

"uh, thanks then" she smiles a little, glancing back at her textbook. "I'll think about it."

"you have to think about attending your first high school party?" you question. laying down on your back. "I'll be there," you turn your head to look at them. "it'll be fun." you watch her carefully and soon she smiles.

"Okay, yeah."

"well that was easy," should have just started by stating you'll be there. "Be careful, Cady." you tease, looking back to clouds passing by but you can't help but smirk a little. "I'll start thinking you like me."

sat in the back of Regina's jeep as she fixes her hair in the overhead mirror, Karen inspects your face while Gretchen is copying Regina by fixing her hair. "can we just go in," you insist, slapping Karen's hands away. "before I regret coming."

"Why would you regret coming?" Gretchen questions, looking around at you.

"I feel stupid,"

"you look amazing," Karen urges. "perfect."

"you would say that."

"stop whining," Regina insists. flipping up her mirror. "you look hot. now let's go."

finally. "I'm gonna get so fucked up," you state as you step out of the car. walking beside Regina with Gretchen and Karen a step behind. the party is already alive. started at six. It was eight.

you reach the point in every party where you just don't want to be there anymore pretty quickly tonight. you're suddenly so aware of how annoying everyone is. sat on the kitchen counter, you swing your legs back and forth as you sip whatever was in your cup. Gretchen gave it to you. the party passes around you like you're not even there until an all too familiar blonde appears. "you look sad," you'd mistake that for genuine concern if it wasn't Regina "Already at sad drunk, that's impressive."

"what do you want Regina?" she had basically ignored you since you arrived so why she suddenly thought you were worthy of her presence, you'll never know. Shane was the object of her disgustingly public displays of affection tonight. "thought you'd be too busy with Shane."

"god, you're so obsessed with Shane," a roll of her eyes as she takes the cup from your hand to help herself. you watch her as the red cup comes to painted lips. not a hair out of place. so perfect. Regina was perfect. it was annoying

"I invited Cady tonight," you state, snatching your cup back.

"ew. why? I thought we agreed you weren't going near Cady anymore," technically you did. practically it wasn't that deep. who cares.

"And Janis and Damian but mostly to get Cady here,"

"desperate to hang out with losers," Regina sighs. "is she here?"

you shrug. "too many people. too big a house. I haven't looked, to be honest."

"Well," a hand finds its way to your thigh, running up and then down softly. "if you're good tonight maybe I'll give you a little treat."

"don't," you push her hand away. "go back to your boyfriend."

"he's not my boyfriend,"

"well whatever he is," you jump down off the countertop. "you made it very clear that I'm not what you want."

"you're so dramatic," she pushes up too. "I hate when you get drunk."

"Whatever."

"fuck sake," Regina responds. "you act like I said we're together or something."

"you're such an asshole," you huff. "I'm gonna find Cady."

"good luck with that,"

there are so many people at this party. you're not sure who half of them even are but they all seem to know you as you stumble around after the new girl. a constant barrage of 'hellos' and 'you look hot' in various forms. it's tiring. annoying. and you're about to give up and go find Gretchen so she can rub your back to make you feel better when you spot her. She was looking as awkward as ever. "you came." shouted over the thump of the music

"yeah," her face lit up. "Damian too. Janis said she'd rather jump off a bridge than come so..."

"That sounds... exactly like her," you nod. "I like..." you glance at her outfit. Regina would hate it. you don't love it. "your outfit. very school teacher chic."

"Thanks," she replies. "I didn't have anything to wear so,"

"it's cool. I'm just happy someone here isn't gonna irritate me- do you want a drink?"

"Sure," she nods. "do they have juice?"

"uh... probably somewhere." who asks for juice at a party? "I'll check. stay here."

you wander off back to the kitchen in search of some juice. your first stop is the fridge which is very stocked. you briefly scan for anything open, sweet and edible before just grabbing a carton of fresh orange and deciding that will do. pouring her a glass before heading back. she's still in the same spot only a particular blonde in the tightest little black dress has decided to strike up a conversation. you immediately know something is wrong. Regina can't stand Cady. it's why you told her you admitted to inviting her so easily. You wanted to piss her off. you can't make out what is happening but as you make your approach the redhead leaves. Regina turns to you with a sugary sweet smile betrayed by her eyes. "hey baby girl, feeling any better?"

"What did you say to her?"

"why do you have a glass of" brow knitted as she tapped her nail against the glass. "orange juice?"

"What did you say to her?"

"who?" you let her have the glass and she takes a sip. a visible look of disgust. "is there anything in this?"

"It's just fresh orange,"

"what the fuck? are you trying to sober up or what?"

"it was for Cady," you explain. "what did you say?"

the blonde shrugs. "she just had to go. not my fault." you don't believe her. why would you? She has a track record of being a conniving person who'll make trouble just for the sake of it. it'd be naive to think she didn't do anything."

"Why do you have to be such a fucking bitch all of the time," you grumble loudly. a hand snaps around your wrist and suddenly you're yanked closer to her. hot breath sending a shiver down your spine.

"I let you off before because you were all sad and tragic but don't think you can ever talk to me like that," growled in your ear before she abruptly shoved you away. "Cady left. get over it."

"she only left because you said something,"

"she left because she realised you don't like her," the blonde snapped. such a pretty poison came in the form of Regina George as she turned her gaze on you. She was pissed but kept it quietly contained to just beneath the music so nobody else had a clue. "that you've just been stringing her along. pretending to be her friend. all because I wasn't showing you enough attention," she's close again. too close. she wasn't physically that tall but right she seemed massive as she loomed over you. her eyes flicker to your lips and back up. did she wanna kiss you or kill you? neither seemed smart. "she realised that you belong to me."

"I'm not a dog Regina."

"you sure about that," a mean glint in those pretty eyes. "you wanted my attention. you got it." she shoves the orange juice back in your hand. it's contents splashing your hand. "don't cry about it now." and with that she turns on her heel and disappears into the crowd

// NEXT

#regina george #regina george x reader #mean girls #mean girls 2024 #renee rapp #mean girls fanfic #regina george fanfic

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startaegi · 6 months ago

Text

CHAPTER 004. favourite crime.

in which namgyu breaks the heart of his childhood sweetheart and tries to piece it back together again while fighting death.

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you weren’t unfamiliar with the concept of death. you’d known the feeling of blood staining your skin, witnessed patients succumb to their illnesses, and felt the panic as you tried to save them. death was part of your normal working routine, after years in the field it took a lot to phase you. however, seeing the players' lifeless bodies drop one by one. hearing the gunshots as another heart automatically stopped. tt startled you more than those evening emergency room shifts ever could.

you had never witnessed anything so inhumane. it was clear whoever was behind this twisted game was the devil himself. there was no other sane explanation.

the common room, once loud with chatter now filled with an uncomfortable silence. everyone huddled together as far from the entrance as possible, most people still shaking in fear. you sat against a metal bed, knees to your chest, eyes focused on the loose skin around your fingernail. you didn't dare look up when you felt his hand against your shoulder.

he said your name. no one around seemed to pay any attention. "can you look at me?"

again you made no effort in acknowledging his presence.

he harshly pulled his hands through his hair, moving closer to you, voice quiet but desperate, "do i have to get on my hands and knees, and beg you to listen?"

you shrugged your shoulders, turning to face him, a bored expression on your face, "wouldn't be the first time"

"you aren't being fair" he argued back, this time attracting a few glares from the other players.

"you don't know anything about being fair," you replied as the doors to the room abruptly opened. everyone hurriedly scattered back, gasps of panic filling the air.

the same masked guards entered the room but unlike before they held guns tightly in their grasp. you slowly moved back, arms still protectively wrapped around your legs. namgyu followed you, moving to cover your hunched figure.

"congratulations for making it through the first game," the same middle square masked guard spoke. "here are the results of the first game"

the numbers on the screen above quickly began to decrease. stopping at 365. 91 players had been eliminated. the guard repeated, "congratulations again for making it through the first game"

player 149 rushed forward, player 007 at her side. her broken voice shattered your heart, "sir, please don't kill us!" she pleaded, falling to the floor, begging the guards in front of her. "please don't kill us, i beg you. as for my son's debt, i will do whatever it takes to pay you back. please forgive us!"

she pulled her son to his knees, who followed her movements, praying to whoever would answer, "i’m sorry. please forgive me, i promise i’ll pay it back" he sobbed.

the masked guard stopped them momentarily, "there seems to be a misunderstanding"

more players gathered beside the mother and son, all on their knees begging to be spared. you sat back, observing their every move silently praying their calls would be answered.

"we are not trying to harm you, we are presenting you with an opportunity" the guard replied nonchalantly, unbothered by the frantic pleading.

the crowd was silenced as player 456 stepped forward, "clause three of the consent form" his voice was loud, echoing off the walls. "the games may be terminated upon a majority vote, correct?"

"that is correct"

"then let us take a vote right now," 456 said, his tone tight.

"of course," the guard replied. it felt like the tension in the room slightly dissipated, everyone's shoulders relaxing. "we respect your right to freedom of choice, but first let me announce the prize amount that's been accumulated"

the room cascaded in darkness as the giant piggy bank screwed to the ceiling quickly filled with money. your eyes widened, your heart quickly beating against your chest. it seemed to never end, the notes continuously dropping as the players slowly formed underneath it, childlike wonder on their faces.

"the number of players eliminated in the first game is 91, therefore a total of 9.1 billion won has been accumulated," the guard said as the money stopped. "if you quit the games now the 365 of you can equally divide the 9.1 billion won and leave with your share"

"how much is that?" a player questioned.

"each person's share would be 24,931,500 won"

namgyu seethed, "fuck, we almost died and they're giving us 24 million? that's fucking bullshit" he raked his hands through his hair again, a habit he picked up when annoyed, then pressed his palms against his head in frustration.

you hated to agree with him. you had been promised 45.6 billion and came close to death just to receive a sum that wouldn't cover even 1% of your debt.

"twenty million?" the purple-haired one called out. "you said 45.6 billion"

the guard spoke up once again, “the rule is that a hundred million won will be accumulated for each eliminated player" you wondered how many times the faceless man had repeated those same lines, his tone of voice led you to believe it was a common occurrence. "if you choose to play the next game and more players get eliminated, the prize amount will increase accordingly"

a grating voice you had begun to recognise; an older man, the number 100 stitched to his jacket, called back, "how much will it be if you survive until the end?'

"as i already told you, the total amount of prize money for all 456 players is 45.6 billion won, those who make it through all games will equally divide the 45.6 billion won"

"so if you're the only one to survive you get 45.6 billion?"

you never stopped once to think about the possibility of you alone winning the grand prize. you couldn't imagine what you would spend it on minus the obvious.

the guard nodded "that's correct"

namgyu turned to you, his face just as shocked as the rest of the crowd, it seemed he also hadn't thought of the insane possibility of those numbers in his bank account. you stared back, a pit forming in your stomach. you remembered the day you opened your joint account, remembered how your soul died as the blinking zeros looked up at you. you didn't want to imagine namgyu screwing everyone over to make that money only his, everyone including you. he surely wasn't that far gone.

another letter sat in the postbox. a red urgent sign stamped to the front. you didn't have to peel back the opening to know what was inside, you’d read the same words on the last four that arrived weeks ago. your head hurt at the thought of it. your rent had been unpaid for months now, at first it had been an honest mistake. you were still getting used to the new hours at work, namgyu was also working late nights at the club, and so rent was the last thing on your mind. the months after that only piled on adding to the mountain of already existing debt.

your only option was to use the money you and namgyu had been saving for your future. it was an agreement when you started university that you’d open a joint savings account, only putting in spare change when you both could and promising not to touch it unless it was absolutely necessary. the amount you’d accumulated wasn't anything massive, just barely enough to cover a percentage of your shared unpaid bills; you would have to scrape together the rest somehow, but it was a good enough start. you knew namgyu would understand.

it was a summer day, the sun so hot it was scalding your shoulders, you welcomed the cold air as you entered the overcrowded building. you stood fourth in the line, rocking on your heels as you waited. surprisingly it moved along quickly. you thanked the person in front who moved to let you in, inserting the card into the card slot. you stared at the screen in confusion. five blinking zeroes sat in the space that was once occupied. you removed the card, inserting it once again and the same thing appeared. 00,000. panic started to set in as you repeated the same actions and was once again greeted with nothing.

"what's taking so long? some people have things to do" a woman called behind you, the other customers in line humming in agreement.

you turned, apologetically bowing, "sorry ma'am," you removed the card, moving to the other side of the bank where you could talk to an employee.

the woman smiled through the glass, "hi, how can i help?" she asked.

"i think there's a problem with my card," you replied, handing the card over. "could you check for me, please?"

"of course, give me a moment," the worker answered.

you impatiently waited, the minutes felt like hours. the woman finally looked back, the same smile on her face. "it looks like all funds were removed on may 6th by the shared owner" she paused to look at her screen again. "a choi namgyu"

it was like someone had stolen all air from your lungs, the entire room suddenly becoming too small and too hot. your brain hadn't fully processed what was being said to you and so you only nodded, accepting the card back and hastily exiting the building. you engulfed a breath of fresh air, focusing on keeping your breathing steady. sure it could seem silly to be that upset by namgyu's actions, at the end of the day it was only money. but, that money you both had planned to use towards a future house or a child or to travel; it was wishful thinking but it gave you hope. you couldn't understand why he would take it without telling you first.

the journey home gave you a lot to contemplate. you had come to the conclusion that maybe namgyu needed the money as desperately as you did and in namgyu fashion; embarrassment and avoidant, hid it in hopes of you never finding out. it was the only explanation that didn't make your heart hurt.

the apartment was dark when you entered, the only noise being from the broken refrigerator. you tossed your belongings haphazardly onto the kitchen table and collapsed onto the sofa. you took your time on the way home, opting to walk rather than take the bus leaving you to arrive back at exactly 9:40 pm. you didn't care to make dinner, the shower that you were hoping for had to wait, you weren't doing anything until you had a good enough excuse from your fiancé.

you hadn't realised you’d dozed off until the click of the front door awakened you. you swore you’d only shut your eyes for a second but the clock was now ticking at midnight. you sat up straight, stretching the knots out of your muscles. namgyu soon made his presence known, loudly pulling off his shoes with no care and pushing them to the side.

he finally looked up, jumping when he noticed you on the sofa, "what the fuck," he swore, hand on his heart. "why are you sitting in the dark?"

you glared through the darkness, mouth shut. you could smell the weed radiating from him, of course, as always he was high.

"hello?" he asked, taking the seat beside you. he called your name, his tone was now worried.

“where are we going to live?" you asked suddenly.

namgyu furrowed at that, hands circling the room, "here?" he replied, unsure of the unusual question.

you wanted to laugh. he had no care for anything. "not for much longer," you said casually, your demeanor worrying him more.

"what's going on?" he seemed more alert now, his eyes wider than they had been when he first opened the door.

"we've missed five rent payments” your gaze softened at his worried expression, the namgyu you once knew coming through for a second. “they’re going to evict us if we don't pay by the 19th" you explained.

and as quickly as your face softened it dropped again at his words, "shit i forgot about that" he replied.

you laughed bitterly, feeling stupid to believe he would care to begin with. "did you also forget about the money you took from the savings?”

"what?” namgyu’s expression twisted in confusion. a beat of silence later and it seemed to click, he looked back at you again, eyes widened, “oh that money! baby, don't worry i’ll get it back times ten” he smiled proudly.

you held your breath, scared of his reply. “what did you do with the money, namgyu?”

“there was a guy at work” you resisted the urge to knock your head against the nearest wall. “he made so much investing in crypto-”

you cut him off mid-sentence, your blood boiling. "you spent our savings on crypto?" you ran a hand over your face, palms digging into your eyes. “what is wrong with you?”

he stared back as if you were speaking a language he didn't understand, the same look of confusion on his face, "what? i’ll get it back"

"you're too smart to be acting so stupid namgyu" you couldn’t stop the laughter escaping your lips. “we're drowning in debt and you used the last of our money for fucking crypto?”

namgyu’s tone of voice quickly turned offended, "why are you acting as if the money only belonged to you? i put money into that account too" he argued back.

"and, what about the money i put in namgyu" you cried back, frustrated that he didn't understand where he went wrong. "you took that too"

"i told you i'll get it back"

“that doesn't help now, we'll be homeless next week" you replied, voice weak. you were exhausted.

"why are you always on my case?” namgyu responded through gritted teeth. “nothing i do is ever right for you”

“maybe if you didn't act like a teenager half the time i wouldn’t need to” you remained where you stood, your voice getting quieter with every word, “you're never here or when you are you're high or drunk, it's like i don't know you anymore”

namgyu raised his head with a glare, his voice loud and unnerving, “have you ever thought you're the reason why?” he shouted angrily. you felt the world pause, didn’t hear anything but the words he’d spat swarming around your head. “wait, wait, I didn't mean that” he quickly interrupted, hands waving frantically.

you couldn’t find it in yourself to reply, instead, you snatched your bag from the kitchen table and slipped on your shoes. your hands shook as you unlocked the front door, namgyu’s pleading voice calling behind you.

he caught up to you, hands clutching your wrist. “please it's almost 2 am, just-” he stopped mid-sentence. “let's go to bed and talk about it tomorrow”

“let go of me, namgyu” you tiredly replied. he reluctantly dropped your wrist, opening his mouth to speak again when you continued, “do not follow me”

he called your name into the clammy night, his voice following you down the darkened streets. you gripped the strap of your bag, head down in an attempt to ignore the drunken people passing by. the area where you lived wasn't known to be the safest, clubs and bars surrounded most of the apartment buildings which mostly housed sketchy people. your safest bet was to find a hotel a little out of town but you couldn't risk walking that far alone nor could you afford it.

a small park came into view, it was old and most of the playground was falling apart but it was in a well-lit area. you took a seat at an empty bench, covered in graffiti and the paint chipping. you rested your head against the back, the moon catching your eye. you watched it shining brightly in the night sky, the stars around it twinkling. you thought back to the nights namgyu would keep you awake telling you facts about space you didn't care to know but listened to anyway because you loved how passionate he was. a tear rolled down your cheek at the memory, and another, and soon you were a sobbing mess. you hunched forward attempting to breathe through the tears. your throat and eyes burning but you couldn't stop.

you weren't crying for the lost money or his harsh words. you were crying for the boy you used to know, the boy you fell in love with who seemed to no longer exist. you had been ignoring it for too long, the reality of it all now crashing down on you.

an unknown presence made itself known, taking the empty seat beside you. they didn't speak, only handed you tissues and a bottle of water. you glanced to the side, squinting through your swollen eyes. a boy around your age, his hair to his shoulders and a warm smile on his face looked back. he held the items out again to which you accepted.

“sorry, i noticed you crying, thought you might need them” he pointed to the tissues and water in your hands, and then quickly interrupted his sentence. “i promise I'm not a creep,” he quickly defended himself, and pointed to the convenience store across the road. “i work over there”

you smiled, “thank you,” you said, taken aback by his kind gesture. “that's really kind of you”

his smile took up his entire face and then dropped just as fast, he worriedly asked, “do you live nearby? it isn't safe to be around here alone”

you quickly lied, “ah yeah, just had a hard night at work”

he laughed nodding, “i know that all too well”

you smiled again, unsure how to reply. you appreciated his kindness more than you could say in words but you were too emotional to hold any form of conversation. “i should head home before it gets any later,” you said before getting to your feet and gesturing to the items in your hand, “thank you again for this” you bowed.

he nodded, following in your footsteps and rising from the bench, “get home safely” he smiled again bowing in your direction.

that night you spent the lonely hours in a pc cafe, the voices of teenagers playing games keeping you awake, and grieving the man you once knew.

previous next masterlist playlist

note . . . really struggled with the first part of this chapter so i’m sorry it took so long 😓 i don’t wanna make it too repetitive and only copy word from word from the show but it’s HARD. im still not in love with this chapter but i really wanted to post something, hopefully i wont take another 4000 years for chapter 5 lmao

taglist . . . @chrisstyle @seonghwasslytherin @princessofthepuppets @sollum @okaycharr @hoshisgalaxy @alexatthedisco @swoofllia @chxrrybomb22 @drkitten226 @ryvampr @bbyjjunie @learninglinesintherainn @smally97 @sft-core @enterplanettelex @prettywhenicry4 @zannispppp @juhdoche @nuttybeans @wagawana @xtracy-xd7 @slxtgirl69 @ihrthoney @zella-74 @ancientdarko @loverzxi @boomzen @godly-sinsx @sirenkinnie @skibidirizzzlerrrr @come-as-you-are-111 @mochimitsuri @lavboat01 @preppyfella @diaboliku-loversu @mimipolo @ourseasone @loveeblob @ritapitmargarita @xoxolakeyah (let me know if you wanna be added)

#namgyu x reader #nam gyu x reader #squid game x reader #player 124 x reader #namgyu x fem reader #player 124 #squid game fanfic #｡𖦹°‧⭑.ᐟ favourite crime #player 124 x fem reader #namgyu x y/n #namgyu x you #player 124 x y/n #player 124 x you

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almond-tofuuu · 1 year ago

Note

Hi I see you're opening request, so I'm here to ask for one. Thank you so much!

Plot: Zayne anger and his punishment when he find out you lied to him and get yourself in dangerous.

anon are you a mind reader?! 👀 bc I've had a draft of this sat in my wip folder for ages!!!

Hope you enjoy!! 💕

Sorry isn't enough...

Zayne x reader

Warnings: angst, lots of angst, no comfort, Zayne is mad (and possibly ooc)

Might do a part 2 (with a happy ending as an apology for this)

Zayne doesn't yell. In fact, in all the time you'd known him you couldn't remember ever seeing him lose his temper. Sure he got annoyed with you sometimes, mainly when you ignored his advice or turned up at the hospital with yet another injury, but it never boiled over into anger. He'd scold you like a child, giving the occasional icy glare, but nothing more. So when you limped into his office today, an hour late for your appointment and caked in dirt and dried blood, you were prepared to receive another lecture about safety from your primary care physician.

The minute you opened the door and took the first unsteady step into his office, you knew something was off. The air held an icy chill, causing a shiver to run down your spine, the tension increasing with every step. You could feel the pressure of Zayne's eyes on you as you approached his desk, piercing green gaze scrutinising every aspect of your appearance, taking note of every scrape and bruise, every smudge of blood that stained your skin and clothes.

"You're late." Emotionless and cold, his voice shattered the uncomfortable silence that had been present since you entered his office. Swallowing thickly, you finally meet his eyes, and immediately regret it. His expression is hard, brow furrowed and his lips pressed into a thin line. His eyes which usually hold a tenderness whenever he looks at you are dark, and swirling with a storm of fury. Zayne is pissed.

Opening your mouth, the apology on the tip of your tongue quickly dies at the sound of Zayne's exasperated sigh. "If you're planning on apologising I'd suggest you save your breath. I have neither the time nor the patience to listen to whatever feeble excuses you plan on giving." His harsh tone hits you like an avalanche, burying you in the disappointment that is practically radiating from him. "I've warned you time and time again to be careful, to prioritise your safety and yet you seem determined not to listen. I've lost count of how many times you've limped into my office. You refuse to listen to my advice yet you come to me whenever your recklessness results in another injury. Tell me, do you insist on continuing this foolish behaviour until it undoubtedly causes your death?!"

A lump forms in your throat, eyes fixed on the floor as you desperately try to hold back the tears threatening to fall. Every cruel word Zayne seethes is another knife to your heart, cutting deep and carving themselves into your flesh. And despite your best efforts, you can't stop the choked sob that escapes your lips. Because it hurts. Seeing the man who has always treated you so gently fuming with rage, steely glare freezing you where you stand, forcing you to endure the brunt of his anger. His words melt together, flooding your mind and making your ears ring as they echo on repeat inside your head. You're so overwhelmed by the crushing weight of his disappointment that you don't even realise you're crying until a cold hand touches your cheek, thumb wiping away a single tear. His breath fans your face as he exhales a tired sigh, "come here, let me see your wounds" his voice is softer now, having lost its previous venom but his outburst has left a sour taste in your mouth. You pull away from his touch, shaking your head slightly as you wipe away the tears that stain your cheeks.

"I can take care of it myself...I wouldn't want to inconvenience you any further." You utter, keeping your voice steady and void of emotion. "Don't worry, you won't have to deal with my reckless behaviour anymore. Goodbye, Dr Zayne." Turning away from him you quickly make your way out of his office, ignoring the calls of your name, determined not to let him see you fall apart completely. With each step you can feel your heart breaking more, bleeding out and flooding your chest with every crushing word Zayne spat at you. You're not sure where you're heading, vision blurring with tears, you just know that the last place you want to be is with Zayne.

#love and deepspace #zayne #zayne love and deepspace #zayne x reader #lnds zayne #lnds #angst #zayne x you #lnd

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muqingslover · 3 months ago

Text

[ Alright pookies, buckle up because this is going to be a hella of a bumpy and angsty ride. This is inspired by all the information floating around the chip in Caleb's brain and my own twist on it ]

FORGET-ME-NOT

Now playing: Nothing's New by Rio Romeo.

There was a buzzing in his ears.

Where was he? His eyes scanned around the familiar room and landed on his hands that were stained red— Blood.

How had it got there again? Whose blood was this?

"Caleb—!" A voice cuts through the buzzing and his eyes find the person in front of him. There was also crimson on your skin— Oh, did the blood on him belong to you? How did you get hurt?

Who....are you, again?

"How long more do you intent on keeping me trapped here?!" The yelling could be heard across the hallways of the Colonel's private quarters. Most of the passing guards hardly batted an eye in reaction anymore; It was just another Thursday.

"For as long as I have to if it means you're safe." He answered, always patient and gentle, yet so very certain of his words.

Every day was a repeat of the last for the past month. Caleb would often come visit the room he had confined you in and let you to vent all of your frustrations onto him while he organized the messy space; a result of your unsuccessful attempts at running away.

You were at your wit's end with him. Every argument you brought to him seemed to go in one ear and out the other. Caleb had no doubts that what he was doing was the correct thing, or that you would understand his side with given time, and so he didn't see the point in arguing back with you. To you, however? it was no different than being treated as an item he owned.

"Oh, but of course." You scoffed, watching him refill the empty vase near your bed with a fresh set of 19 blue roses. Never more, never less. Not that you cared, you had let every single one of those gifts rot and refused to accept anything from the man. The only reason you still ate some of your meals was because you knew you'd need the strength if you were to run away. You had no intention of wasting away in this place. "The colonel always have an answer for everything."

"That's not true," He replied with a calm that only served to rile you up even more. His hands carefully pruning the thorns left on the stem as he continued "It only seems that way because you keep asking me the same thing."

You could only shake your head in disbelief, letting out a humorless, breathy chuckle. The gods are ought to give you patience because if they give you strength oh so help him. It felt pointless to keep talking to someone who wasn't trying to actually listen. How had the man who had seen each and every of the scars, fears and dreams you kept close to your heart become so blind and deaf?

Your body hit the bed as you let it fall back, sitting down and lowering your head onto your own hands. "If this is how I have to live then I'd rather not live at all." The weary mumble escaped your lips and your eyes fluttered close for a moment, thinking back on a certain doctor that was certainly balding by now from worry about you. It was a shame you couldn't even do as much as send a hello to him.

The clank of the scissors being suddenly placed down echoed in the silent room as Caleb turned his body towards you. "Don't say that. Ever." He asked, though it sounded more like a command rather than a request.

Your head snapped back up at him. Now he wanted to control what you said as well? Oh not this time. Venom seeped through your words and you couldn't help the hostility that set into your body "Why not? Hm? Because you'd be oh so very sad to have your favorite toy taken away?"

"You are not a toy—" He began while he stepped closer but you interrupted, standing up until you were face to face with him. "You surely treat me as one. Dressing me up, controlling who I talk to, what I can or can't do, when I leave, when and what I eat."

He tried to argue, however you didn't let him. He was going to listen now even if it was the very last thing you did.

"Maybe you were right after all," The confession left a bitter taste in your mouth. Caleb stood right in front of you, the same Caleb you once loved yet you couldn't recognize him. "Maybe you were always like this. I was just...too blind to realize that you never cared for me. No, you only wanted to satisfy that compulsive need to control everything about my li—"

"Stop!" He finally cut in with a loud voice that stunned you into silence. He grabbed your shoulders and lowered his head to hover just above yours, his eyes swirling with emotions as he gazed into yours. It was if he was pleading for you to understand, to believe him. "I can't keep losing you time, and time again. Please you...You have to understand."

Like a leaking faucet the words left his lips faster than he could stop himself. Caleb could take your hatred, he could accept your harsh words and keep a smile on his face when you hit his chest because you were, for once, safe, with him. What he can't do is let you believe he is using you or treating you the same way the disgusting scientists did while you were children. He is nothing like those people. His legs lost their strength and he slowly lowered himself in front of you. His grasp sliding down from your shoulders to take your hands into his shaky ones, pressing them against his forehead.

"I love you. I love you with all of what's left of myself. More than I should have, so much more than I will ever deserve, and I will keep loving you until...until I..." His voice faltered. A sudden throbbing on his head caused his voice to sound distant to his own ears and he knew exactly what came next.

This was not good.

Caleb pushed you away as he quickly forced himself up on his feet and stumbled back until he accidentally hit the wall behind him. One of his hands clutched his hair tightly, hoping that the pain would keep him grounded for long enough for you to get to safety.

"You need— You must to go." His free hand raised in a silent request for you to stay away, his jaw tightening and his breathing quickly turning ragged with each sharp tug at his consciousness. This was by far the last thing he needed right now. "Please. Just listen—"

"What!? No! No way, I'm not leaving right now. We have to finish—" You tried to argue, but your speech was cut by his voice raising as he snapped at you for the first time in all these very long years. "Get the hell out! NOW!"

The man let out a dragged out, pained groan as both of his hands clutched his head. 'Serve', 'Obey', 'Exterminate', 'Mission'; Several of the ingrained commands rushed in at once. Caleb could almost feel the chip burning away at the small parts of his wired brain and destroying what little was left of himself. He tried to cling to the memories that always kept him strong, tried to cling to you, but this time was different. Your presence was a threat by itself, in more ways than one, and he needed to get you as far from himself as possible right now otherwise—

"Caleb? Hey, Caleb! What are you— Stop!" He heard your voice in the distance, however he remained unable to act on his own accord. He was confined in his own mind to spectate how his hand grabbed you by your throat, tightly pressing against your airway before pinning your back against the wall.

"Who sent you?" His unfeeling voice demanded. The sharp, purple eyes searched the face of the struggling intruder in front of him— How had you slipped past him again? It doesn't matter. He will exterminate the danger first and ask questions later. It would be too dangerous to allow a threat to run loose now that he had e̸̋̅͐͐̍̎͑r̵̒̄̏̆̏̄̊̐͂́̚̕r̷̛̝̫̻͓̙̽̀̉̏̅ǫ̷̛̮͛̒̋́̋̈́̕̚͘̚͠r̶̛̍̎̽͌̊̀̒̚͝ to protect.

...Huh?

Wait.

Who...did he have to protect?

Your nails clawed at his wrists as you tried to slip out of his death grip, but the lack of oxygen to your brain made it hard to come up with a plan of escape. Something was obviously wrong. Caleb might have changed, but you knew he would never hurt you under any circumstances. Even though his controlling actions made you feel suffocated more than enough times they were rooted in his desire to keep you safe.

So, why? What in the world had happened in that small second?

Your unanswered questions were unable to leave your lips as a few stray tears trickled down from your eyes and you couldn't find it on yourself to actually hurt him back. By the gods, a hunter who is choosing to remain still while being strangled has to be most ridiculous thing anyone will ever witnessed.

But how could you? Despite all the fights and bitter feelings, he's still sweet, old Caleb you grew up with.

'Do not hesitate. Remember that.' The voice abruptly echoed in the back of your mind and a memory of weeks ago flashed before your eyes.

"Fine, hate me all you want pipsqueak. But, remember this: If someone that resembles me ever attacks you do not hesitate to fight."

"Are you seriously saying you spawned an evil twin now or something?" You retorted with a roll of eyes at his beyond ridiculous warning, assuming it was just another of his attempts of scaring you into staying put.

Caleb, however, didn't laugh like he usually would. Instead, the man moved closer, grabbing your hands to make sure you were completely focused on him. "Do. Not. Hesitate. Not even for a second. Understand?"

His demeanor left no room for your sarcastic attitude and you merely nodded in agreement, unsure about what to even say in return.

"Atta girl!" He smiled satisfied, patting your head and ruffling your hair.

Right.

He was Caleb, but he was not exactly your Caleb. At least not at the moment.

Maybe a pounding to his head will fix him right up, who knows. It worked when you were both much younger kinda so you might as well knock back some sense into him the old-fashioned way.

Your feet pushed into his stomach as you tried to give yourself some leverage for air and quickly grabbed the vase near the bedstand, shattering against his head as hard as you could. You gasped when his hands released you, rubbing the bruised skin around your throbbing neck and coughing dryly. However, there was not a moment to spare. You pushed yourself up again to grab him, shaking him by his shoulders as if he was a ragdoll.

"CALEB! Wake the hell up! HEY!" Your voice was strained and filled with panic but you tried to sound as loud as you possibly could to get the other to snap out of whatever dazed state he seemed to be in.

Meanwhile, the man stood there in silence with water soaking down his uniform. He had seen the attempt coming, it was too pitiful to even be called an attack in his eyes, yet his body didn't move. Had he hesitated? Him? Hesitating? Why? Ugh, his head is killing him.

He could feel the aggressive electric current in his brain that caused things to slip through his fingers like sand; It was right there, on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't find it. If he was to be honest, Caleb didn't even know what "It" even was anymore. All he knew is that it felt like it was important.

"CALEB—!" The voice called again, causing him to close his eyes in reflex to the loud the noise. Were you somehow related to what he felt like he had to remember?

You might just be the dumbest rat he's caught since he came here. Regardless, his order was only one when it came to the likes of you: Eliminate. His questions could wait until he was done and his head didn't feel like a church bell.

His hand reached behind his back where he felt his gun and in a swift move he pulled it out and held the barrel towards the person in front of him. His eyes opening once more as he caught sight of your familiar features and something about you made a small fire inside of him to ignite and—

BANG.

Oh.

It's you.

𖹭 Tag: @captivating-flavors

[Who can tell me the meaning behind the flowers he gifted the reader? You get a cookie if you get it right! Also, part two? 🧐]

#if you saw me post this before no you didnt #oopsie #its here yippieeeee #love and deepspace #lads #love and deepspace x reader #lads x reader #lads caleb #caleb love and deepspace #caleb x reader #lnds #lnds x reader #caleb lnds #love and deepspace caleb #lnds caleb #caleb lads #caleb angst

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ikeuverse · 2 years ago

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hold me like you always do | sjy

pairing: jake x fem!reader genres: angst, fluff wc: 8.3k+

꒰ 𝅄 warnings ꒱ : mention of cheating and toxic relationship (not between jake and yn). fights, bruises, swearing, mention of alcohol consumption, kissing.

꒰ 𝅄 synopsis ꒱ : jake's old relationship caused him to become a traumatized and withdrawn person. perhaps your unexpected hugs in the middle of the night became the medicine he needed, and didn't know it.

꒰ 𝅄 notes ꒱ : i love reading angst and i thought about this one for a while. of course it's all just fiction, jake would never subject himself to that kind of thing. and another, if you live/lived/know someone who goes through a relationship like that… be supportive, or seek support. you deserve much more and no one has the right to be toxic with another person. for absolutely nothing!

꒰ 𝅄 masterlist ꒱

"Hey, Jake?" your voice came out as a whisper, afraid to wake the rest of the house as you tiptoed to the kitchen. Your route had been interrupted as soon as you passed the living room, noticing the boy sprawled on the couch.

With a quick movement, Jake stood up and sniffled softly as he wiped the tears that were pouring down his face.

"Hi y/n, I didn't know you were here" the shaky voice indicated that, once again, that scenario was repeating itself. He didn't even have to look at you to know that Jake was crying again.

With the sound of your tongue clicking inside your mouth, displeased to see him like that, you approached in quick steps until you were standing next to him in the center of the room.

"Lori again? What did she—"

"Let's not talk about it, okay? Just…" Jake felt his lower lip tremble as he began to cry copiously again "Hold me like you always do, please?"

Never that you would refuse that request, so your arms quickly wrapped around the body bigger than yours for sure. Jake wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck to keep crying until he had no more strength.

As he said himself, you've always done this. Ever since you started going to the house he shared with his best friends a few months ago. You met Jake through Heeseung, your university classmate and your best friend's boyfriend. Thanks to you Heeseung and Kimi were dating. And thanks to Kimi you started to meet at Heeseung's house and his friends more often in addition to the campus parties that were always going on.

These encounters resulted many funny stories, many moments when you would have movie sessions and hear Jay's scream echoing throughout the room – and him denying at the end that that sound had come out of his mouth – even though everyone knew who had done it. And besides the fun stories, you also got to know the little painful moments.

It didn't happen because you wanted it to, but Kimi and Heeseung liked to vent to you and that led you to be a good listener. Always trying to understand what was going on and even listening about how Sunghoon felt like a bad student or how Jay was frustrated because he didn't know how to propose to the girl he loved. Everyone was there to talk to you. Except Jake.

Jake was the one you had the least contact with since you arrived there, and the stories about it reached your ears before you even introduced Kimi to Heeseung. Because the boy was venting about how sad his friend was. The reason? Dating. Or as you heard his friends call it, hell on earth itself.

You spotted Jake at a few parties you attended on campus, he was always a nice guy, and from the cool stories Heeseung told, he was great. But his shine dimmed when he was betrayed by one of his teammates on the soccer team. Jake Sim was the epitome of beauty and kindness, taking away any and all stereotypes of the varsity player being a real son of a bitch. Jake was not like that, on the contrary. And with that said, many girls would fall at his feet and he would have an equally beautiful girlfriend. Who has been turning ugly in his eyes since Heeseung told the whole story.

Lori and Jake studied together for a few classes in the semester, which brought them closer and they started dating. Jake gave all of himself, thinking his growing love was reciprocated until he saw his sweet girlfriend clinging to the team's quarterback inside the locker room.

That's dumb and very disgusting, you almost threw up your lunch when Heeseung was telling you all that, almost punching your salad with so much anger that the tomato flew off your plate.

It wasn't a long courtship, by the way. Jake wouldn't consider five months something he could suffer through like he did at the moment, but what hurt him was all the deception he went through. To feel that while he was trying to give of himself, he was being stabbed in the back by the person he thought he loved next to one of the guys he thought was his friend.

"Bro code and lack of character, he has to leave the team" Sunghoon wanted to punch the face of the man who made Jake be in that state, but he asked Jay, the team captain, not to do that. He didn't want to be in a situation that wasn't his fault.

Or at least he wanted to feel like it wasn't. Even with the constant encounters with Lori and her newest boyfriend, she seemed to make it a point to humiliate Jake until the boy simply wouldn't answer her and walked out of there. For her, that was a victory. For Jake, it was getting out of there in time to not cuss out every last generation of her and not offend her. Because he was too good for this world. Jake, unfortunately, cared about treating well those who didn't even think about how he would look in that whole situation.

Because he still frequented a few common places, the boy kept running into who he least wanted to be on that whole huge campus. He wanted to avoid, sidestep or just not look at Lori in his entire life, but she sniffed. She sensed Jake was around and always had a way of wiping out what shred of sanity he had and making him feel bad for nothing.

"You never get tired of seeing me, do you Jakey" her voice had become unbearable to him, causing his stomach to churn at the mere fact that his nickname had left her lips "Miss me?"

"Never" he managed to speak a little more firmly, making her raise her eyebrows in disbelief. Lori couldn't believe this was happening, in her mind, Jake was suffering for something she had caused.

"Oh, how rude" she laughed, and he rolled his eyes. With a little more closeness inside that library, Lori raised her hands to touch Jake's face, sliding along his jawline "That's why I did what I did to you, I was so bored I needed some fun in our boring courtship."

And those were just a few things he listened to relentlessly until he went home late at night and cried all he could. That's how Jake finally met you.

Having movie nights at the boys' house that Jake didn't attend, you'd hang around to sleep in Heeseung's room because he was taking Kimi home and everyone knew he wasn't leaving. So between hearing any noise coming from your friend's room with your friend, it was better to sleep in his room and dawn with unkempt boys who still made a great breakfast together.

But your nocturnal thirst prevented you from lying in your friend's bed all the time, so as if your biological clock sensed it, as soon as Jake was in the room quietly crying, you went downstairs.

Your first date with him wasn't that long, Jake just apologized for scaring you and went upstairs to his room. The next few nights followed equally until you decided to dare. Before he could pass you and go to the staircase leading to the bedrooms, you gently grabbed Jake's arm.

He shuddered at the touch but stopped walking instantly while keeping his back to you. Your next movement stiffened the boy's muscles, but he felt strangely welcomed as your hands passed around his waist, landing on his abdomen as you buried your face in Jake's back.

"You can cry, it's okay to do that…" your words felt like magic to him, because after that day, Jake would unconsciously wait for you to come down to get water so he could feel your embrace again.

You never said much and he said even less, being aware that Heeseung had already told him the whole story he had been going through lately. So words could be spared and Jake wouldn't feel his tears getting stronger and stronger if he had to relive the worst moment of his life so far. He wanted to focus on just being held by you and maybe feel your breath against the back of his neck as you held each other tighter. It calmed him down in a way, and the boy had no problem admitting it.

And you would also admit if they asked you that lately, you asked Heeseung to sleep at your house more with Kimi so you could silently help Jake. Because you were the only one who could get something from him, at least. None of your friends had gotten a single word from Jake Sim. They would have called you a good luck charm if they saw you hugging him in that living room.

It had been two months since you and Jake's nightly encounters. By this time, Heeseung only knew how to sneak glances at you during class and sometimes write in the corner of his notebook some teasing with it.

Have you kissed yet? He wrote this time. You rolled your eyes, huffing at the stupid question your friend had asked.

No, idiot. Your answer below is from a different colored pen to indicate your sentence.

He seemed to take a moment, looking straight ahead when the teacher gestured near where you were sitting. The focus was on two students sitting right in front of you, so Heeseung sighed and went back to writing.

I think you two match. You widened your eyes and quickly turned to Heeseung, letting your jaw drop at that.

"What's your problem?" you whispered as low as you could, pulling him by the sleeve of his sweatshirt as you spoke.

"What? You're the only one he listens to" Heeseung whispered back, afraid the teacher would scold you both.

"Does that mean we have to kiss?"

"Look, from the number of hugs you've given each other these past few months, I wouldn't be surprised if you two have already kissed" he smiled showing all those perfectly aligned teeth you always told your best friend, one day you'd break them.

But it wasn't the moment, because Heeseung's line was now echoed in your mind. He could be right, even if only in the slightest. Because you and Jake were meeting more often at the boys' house, you made Heeseung's room almost like your own. Now, apart from crying a little less, he kept a gentle caress on your waist until he dozed off on the sofa hugging your body.

It wasn't something to complain about, but to think about because his friend sitting next to him could be an idiot with good reason. It would be a lie to say that you didn't think about kissing Jake. But not while he was crying, only after the whole weight off his back moment that he released you from his embrace. Smiling in your direction and kissing your forehead before walking you to Heeseung's room.

"You're thinking too much" your friend nudged you "Is it Jake's kiss?"

"God, I hate you" you huffed "I regret introducing you to my best friend."

"Hey, you introduced me to the best thing in life, don't say that" Heeseung pouted, you rolled your eyes, but laughed it off.

Taking the conversation that way could take the focus off your friend's fixation on you kissing Jake. It wasn't something to deny, but you saw yourself as his source of escape, someone Jake trusted enough to see him vulnerable. You also didn't know how much he'd healed from everything he'd been through before you could try something, so just hugging him might be enough for you. That would content you, at least.

And with that thought you let the class go on without any more problems, Heeseung also didn't write in your notebook anymore until the end of the period, when you both put your things in your backpacks and he held his shoulders to divert you from the crowd of your classroom.

"I'm starving" he grumbled as soon as you left, abandoning your shoulders so he could walk beside you across campus.

"Do you want something to eat? I'm meeting Kimi and Sarang in five minutes."

"Tempting, but I can't" he groaned sadly, throwing his head back dramatically when you both stopped walking "I have practice now and Sunghoon already got us something to eat before we play. Will you tell Kimi I miss her?"

"You two saw each other yesterday" you grimaced "You slept together, Heeseung."

"I can't miss my girlfriend? You're annoying, y/n" he came closer and hugged you, messing up your hair "Wait until this happens with you and Jake, I'll laugh at your face."

Before he could get a slap from you, Heeseung rushed away only hearing your grumbles behind him. The cursed and mumbling of other words that he couldn't understand because he was too rushed to meet his friends at practice. He wanted to run enough so he could get home in time to shower and finish something from the university before meeting Kimi.

"He's here, finally" Sunghoon celebrated when Heeseung appeared on the lawn. Panting but smiling, the boy greeted all his friends until he let his backpack fall off his shoulders onto the bleacher bench.

"Were you expecting me? How sweet" he feigned commotion as he took a piece of sandwich Jay had offered him. Gratefully, he bit into a large piece listening to the captain and one of his best friends say a few things.

"Where were you?" Jake stopped beside him, nudging him with his shoulder. Heeseung swallowed the food before smiling without showing his teeth, but Jake knew that smile well. His friend's response would be less than malicious or pleasant to him.

"With your secret passion" he said once he made sure there was nothing on his teeth. Jake kept looking at him trying not to bite his lips in anticipation, then Heeseung sighed and said low "I was in the last class with y/n."

Jake choked on his own saliva rather loudly, his teammates looking directly at Heeseung since he was the one eating. The boy denied it, turning his gaze back to Jay who was instructing how today's game would go.

"Where the hell did you get that from? For God's sake, Heeseung," Jake said in a low tone, not wanting to hit his friend because he was eating and might drop his snack.

"Come on, you two walk too close. It's not time to—"

"You know it's not like that" Jake interrupted him.

"So you've thought about the possibility?" Heeseung's eyes flashed in anticipation and Jake couldn't help himself, slapping his friend's arm and yelping in fake pain. It hadn't even been that hard, after all.

"Am I getting in the way of you two lovebirds?" Jay raised one eyebrow at the two, who just looked at him with an apologetic nod afterward "Okay, let's start practice."

Running across the huge field after getting ready with their uniforms and helmets, they split into subgroups to start their training. Nothing too different from what they were used to. Excited shouts when someone caught the ball and scored a point, or when they managed to knock their opponent to the ground. Sunghoon was the one who celebrated the most, even more, if he had knocked Jay or Jungwon down.

Jake preferred to stay in his seat, waiting for someone to pass him the ball or call him over to assist on a point. Quickly his eyes ran over his teammates and soon stopped on Heeseung. The boy had a twinkle in his eye that Jake couldn't see, but he smiled broadly every time he looked at Sim. In a mixing motion, Heeseung formed two beaks with his hands, linking them together as if to make his fingers kiss. Jake froze.

He'd be a big hypocrite if he said he'd never thought about kissing you because it had already crossed his mind. But see this, Jake was still trying to heal from something that had been haunting him for a long time. He knew it would be completely difficult to try something with someone else if his ex-girlfriend was still a burden in his life. Not because he wanted to, but because he just didn't know how to get rid of it.

Jake felt that need, and he knew Heeseung was right in some ways. Because it was impossible not to feel like kissing you every time your lips touched his forehead gently after he sighed when he was done crying. Your lips curved into a small smile as you spoke words of endearment close to his face. Jake held back so much internally not to pull her face close to his.

Even more so when you nestled into his body pulling him into a hug. Your body was much smaller than his, it was obvious, but the way you held him was incredible. Every time your face was buried in Jake's neck and the shivers he felt could be put down to the intensity of the moment. He wanted to think it was because he was crying and venting all his frustration at that moment, not because his breath was beating against his skin involuntarily.

Jake wanted so badly to curse himself for thinking about your reddened, ajar lips, while you watched him ramble through what had happened and looked at him carefully on every subject. He would get lost sometimes and try to pick up again because he was glazed over by your lips. Maybe kissing them was something he wanted as much as you did, even if he had no idea about it.

"Jake, look out!" Jay's shout snapped him out of his thoughts as Jake looked forward, realizing he'd spent too long thinking about what it would be like if he'd kissed you. The ball hit his helmet so hard that he fell to the ground in seconds.

"Fuck" he groaned in pain, eyes closed and squeezed together as shadows loomed around him. His friends were already close enough to cover all the sun that shone on the soccer field that late afternoon.

"What the fuck, man. Didn't you hear me call you?" Jungwon scolded him with a concerned tone of voice. Jake felt his body being lifted and he knew Jay had taken off his helmet, opening his eyes slowly to see all his teammates standing there.

"Sorry, I… I guess I got distracted."

"We get it" Sunghoon joked "What were you thinking?"

Jake opened his mouth to answer, then closed it when he heard a short laugh from Heeseung.

"Son of a bitch" he didn't have the strength to get out of Jungwon's arms, otherwise he would have run to the other to hit him on the head too.

"Okay, we'll take a break from practice" the coach announced afterward, hearing from Jay that everything was fine and it was just a scare.

As the boys dispersed across the field, Jake decided to sit on the bench for a while and breathe deeply as his head ached. Maybe from the hit or, at worst, from thinking too much about you.

Jake doubted himself when he accepted that invitation after soccer practice. It had been months since he had known what it was like to attend a party properly without having his ex-girlfriend pestering him. He knew he was missing his friends since he always partied – as much as possible – with the almost weekly parties of the fraternities of that college. The boy sighed, letting those thoughts be pushed from his mind as he filled his glass for the second time, having Sunghoon's gaze and Jay's smile accompany him as the beer keg hose finished pouring its contents.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay being here?" Jay asked when it was his turn to fill the glass. Jake drank some of the contents, smiling with the plastic between his teeth as he did so.

He truly appreciated all his friends' concerns. And he also felt a little guilty because this situation involved everyone he cared about, and not in a good way. Because everyone ended up, in a way, feeling bad about the state Jake found himself in… Since he met you. That last part was new to him ever since Heeseung started pushing his buttons, even more so after he brought up the subject of kissing. It was just making him nervous.

"I'm sure" Jake snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Jay's arm go around his shoulder. He looked at Sunghoon, his glass full and a wide smile on his lips "Where are we going now?"

"To look for Heeseung, he's arrived" Sunghoon announced and was led the whole way into the busy house.

"And she came, you know, right?" Jay's whisper couldn't have stirred Jake as much as he would have liked. Shit, the boy thought, was he really looking forward to you arrival that much? Why did Jake feel his legs getting shaky as he walked with his friend by his side? Even though he knew it wasn't, in fact, to meet just you. But knowing that you were there waiting for the boys was one thing that made Jake a little more nervous.

With that, the boy decided to drink the entire contents of his glass to try, in a useless way, to clear his throat which was already starting to dry out due to his state.

"You've all finally arrived" with Jay's announcement, Jake froze as he looked straight ahead.

There you were, completely perfect. He always saw you in casual clothes because the settings were his house or college. The times Jake had bumped into you at a few parties, they were quick things and he was always accompanied by Lori, so it wasn't like the guy really remembered what you were wearing. When needless to say, he barely had any fun at parties being with the other girl.

"How nice to see you here, Jake" Kimi approached him, quickly hugging the boy who returned the act of affection with the same intensity.

"I missed that, actually" he said sincerely, smiling when she pulled away to give him space. The space he knew he couldn't fill because he was shaking too much to move.

When your eyes locked onto Jake's, he swore everything stopped for a few minutes. No music was heard but the sound of your heartbeat speeding up just because you had smiled at him. That smile that he used to see during the last few months as you consoled him for crying like an idiot. But even more so, it was the smile he looked for almost every night, even through the tears, just to feel good and be able to sleep peacefully.

"Hi" Jake blinked rapidly at your proximity, noticing you were standing right in front of him.

Now all your friends had scattered and he hardly knew where they were, leaving you two alone – not to mention the world of people surrounding you – but that didn't matter. It was just you and Jake, through both of your eyes.

"Hi" the boy smiled finally "Would you like a drink?"

"I'd love one" you smiled a little more because Jake was smiling broadly in your direction now.

Without much thought, as if it were a natural thing, he took your hand and entwined his fingers in yours. In response, you squeezed his hand and let him guide you to where the drinks might be. And all the way Jake followed like that, holding hands with you as if it was meant to be. As if the two of you had to stay like that until you reached the kitchen.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Hm… Beer?" you didn't know what you had, and you weren't going to start with something unknown either. Maybe beer could help you get used to the alcohol in your system until you interspersed it with other concoctions Heeseung would probably bring in the middle of the night.

Jake agreed with your request and went to the fridge to get a beer, and even that didn't make him let go of your hand, so you had to follow him walking beside him. With his free hand, Jake grabbed two bottles of beer and handed one to you, smiling in thanks as he closed the fridge to walk over to the counter.

"Want me to open it?"

"Please" you asked, and just at that moment, Jake released your hand to take the bottle and twist the cap with the edge of his t-shirt. It was a simple act, you had seen Heeseung and Jay do it when you went to the boys' house at night.

A normal thing between them. But why with Jake had it made you sigh? A silly sigh that had certainly not gone unnoticed by him. Because the boy had smiled so shyly that your cheeks were red now.

"Thanks, Jake" you said before picking up your drink and taking a long sip. It was hot, your throat was dry and you were nervous. Putting it all together and adding the fact that Jake's eyes never left your face, you needed to finish that bottle as soon as possible. And that's what happened.

By the time Jake opened his bottle and took a small sip, you had already finished yours and felt the bitterness of the drink in your mouth, grimacing.

"What? Is it that bad?" he laughed, pouring his bottle and taking a long sip since the two drinks were the same. Then another sip until he finished all the beer "You didn't like it?"

"I found it a bit bitter, I don't know" you shrugged, feeling the taste still against your lips.

"I think I can make it better" Jake didn't know with what courage he had pulled it out of his chest to make it come out of his mouth. And he also didn't know what courage he was having to be slowly pushed against your face.

His face inches away from yours, his nose brushing so slowly against yours that it was tickling lightly against your skin.

"With your mouth? But you drank the same thing I did" you were supposed to shut your mouth when you were nervous, or you'd spoil the fact that Jake Sim was leaning towards you, his breath hitching against your lips.

"I had a few other things to drink before you arrived too, I think that might help" he shrugged, laughing nonchalantly at your nervousness. Perhaps he was a little braver than you now.

"It's okay, you can try."

It was all he needed to hear to touch the icy fingers to your skin and pull your body to him. Touching his forehead against yours, Jake slid his head to the side to get his lips to fit slowly, torturously long before his lips brushed against yours. He started slow, just feeling the pressure of his mouth against yours before he asked for permission to intensify. You gave in you wouldn't be silly to deny something you wanted and that was instigating you as much as he was.

Jake's kiss, although tasting different from the beer you two had been drinking, tasted good. It was slow and intense, his hands squeezing you so carefully as if you were going to break at any moment. Your hands, on the other hand, rested against his cheek to feel the movements of his jaw as he kissed you even more. No speeding up so he could feel every inch of your mouth and no rush to tangle his tongue in yours.

"Jake, we— Holy shit" Heeseung cried out. Jake parted your lips from him in a quick pop but came back to seal them properly as he turned his head towards his friend who had just entered the kitchen.

"What is it, Heeseung?" he laughed at the older man's astonished expression, he swallowed an outraged cry as he bit his lips.

"You… You two…"

"What did you come to say?" Jake still had his hands on your waist, keeping you in place as your hands slid from his face to his arms, holding yourself against him.

"I said… I wanted to talk… About, you know… You know…"

"I think we broke him" you whispered, hearing Jake's laughter once more.

"Come on, Heeseung! Talk soon" the boy hurried.

Heeseung seemed to come to his senses and sighed loudly, unable to contain the huge smile that adorned his lips.

"Game outside in two minutes, the boys want you to go" he finally said.

Jake agreed with a small nod, looking at you this time.

"Want to meet Kimi while I go with the boys?" the concern in his voice and the intensity of his gaze made your knees wobble. You could only smile as you quickly agreed with a nod.

Jake kissed your lips once more, still slowly and holding your face between his hands.

"Holy shit, I love you both so much" Heeseung shouted again, jumping up and down from the kitchen door. Jake laughed against your lips and pulled away, pushing Heeseung out of the kitchen and letting you breathe a little.

It was your turn to look for your best friend and tell her what had happened. Your eyes scanned the huge room when you came out of the other room, not to mention the pair of eyes that stared at you all night.

"I don't believe it!" Kimi shouted as excitedly as her boyfriend did a while ago.

You laughed at her excitement together with Sarang, who hugged you non-stop almost knocking you down on the lawn.

"I'm so happy for you two, I swear" she squeezed you a little tighter, waiting for Kimi to join the pair to hug them too.

"Jake deserves this so much" Kimi whispered after she hugged you both "And so do you, after all, you've been with him all this time."

"We just kissed, come on" you laughed a little nervously at the statement of one of your best friends.

"But I'm being honest" she walked away with Sarang "It's impossible for you two not to have developed a crush on each other in this time of closeness…"

"Sure, it's months of helping him with all this shit" Sarang sat back down on the lawn, enjoying the night from the front of the house. She had these moments when she thought everything was too crowded inside, so she would call you and Kimi to join her for some fresh air "And you two are beautiful together."

"Visually and emotionally too."

"Idiots" you rolled your eyes, laughing and unfazed by it. There was no way they could have left you speechless any longer, why were your friends describing you so well? Was it too apparent how you and Jake were with each other?

"Okay, let's go inside. Y/n is turning red and we don't have any drinks for her to blame her embarrassment on" Sarang held her arms out for someone to help her up. You and Kimi joined in, pulling her off the ground and waiting for her to clear herself off the grass before you went inside.

Before your steps became solid back to the party, your eyes traveled to the person at the entrance. Your stomach almost churned at the sight of Lori staring at you.

You tried to look away and even felt Kimi's hand hold yours for a moment, maybe they could divert the path and go in the back, but something in you didn't want to go another way but to pass her. But the girl was quick to get down from the driveway and walk towards you.

"Y/n, right?" she asked as soon as she approached your trio of friends along with a friend of hers. The girl looked at the three of you with a disgusted expression, surely mirrored by Kimi.

"Do you know my name?"

"I had to go find out who the bitch who kissed my Jake was" at her audacity, the only thing you could do was laugh. Laugh with all your heart as you took a step forward, almost knocking the girl over by the way you leaned towards her.

"Yours?" your voice came out between your teeth "Claiming something you lost months ago? Please, honey, get better."

"Oh, y/n, where does all this courage come from to talk to me like that?" she pressed her forefinger against your shoulder, pushing your body slightly.

"Don't touch me" you slapped against her hand on impulse, seeing Lori's countenance stiffen. She ignored the fact of that and went back to pressing her index finger against your shoulder.

"I suggest you stay away from Jake, you know" her nail dug into your skin, and this made a sigh come out of your lips "It's only a matter of time before he comes back to me…"

"He'll never do that, I'll make sure it doesn't happen" you tried to smile and ignore the sting of her nail against your skin "And I told you not to touch me, bitch."

You felt your body being pulled back entirely, widening your eyes and wondering how Kimi had gotten so strong to pull you like that. But it wasn't her there. Immediately you found Jake's eyes riveted on you while looking forward, you could notice your other friends assisting the girl who was trying to get out of her own friend's arms.

Your tongue itched at the roof of your mouth to ask how he had gotten that far without you noticing, or your attention and anger were so well directed that you weren't even able to hear him yell from the front door when the game was over. Jake knew he had to run as fast as he could, thanking God for his position on the soccer team. He was fast enough to sneak up on you all and take Kimi's place to hold you back.

"I'll finish her off" Lori's voice brought you back to reality, finally facing the girl who was trying to get out of Hyunjin's grip and her friend's as well.

"I hope you make sure you do this well, because if I catch you—"

"That's enough!" Jake said sternly, but low enough that only you could hear him. Without waiting long – and knowing that you wouldn't leave without first trying a fight – he spun you around between his arms and used all the strength he had to pick you up and put your body over his shoulders.

"Jake, put me down" you struggled, knowing it was useless because the boy was much stronger than you and his grip on your body wouldn't be gentle enough for you to get out.

Your eyes were still agile enough to see Lori's even angrier face as Jake carried you over his shoulder into the house again, setting you down on the floor after he closed the door.

Without saying a word, he took your hand just like earlier in the evening, but it wasn't as subtle. The grip between your fingers would have hurt if it wasn't for the adrenaline still coursing through your bloodstream. He ran up the stairs with you, so quickly that your feet almost wobbled and tripped on some steps. Entering the room Jake had designated, unaware that it was a dimly lit room that served as a study area in the fraternity house.

"You have to let me down, Jake" you finally said, sighing heavily as he stood in front of the door after locking it.

"Only in your dreams" he smiled without showing his teeth, turning serious again when you took slow steps towards him.

"I need to" your teeth quickly clamped down on your bottom lip, taking a deep breath when he denied your request again "Jake, I'm not done talking to Lori."

"And you won't, y/n" he leaned in close enough that his face was level with you. Swallowing dryly with Jake's breath so close to yours, you closed your eyes "You need to do like me and ignore any shit she says."

His calm voice contrasted with his serious countenance. You let out a snort with your eyes still closed, feeling your whole body shiver.

"Of course, to see you look bad like that… Jake!" your eyes opened to meet his, so expectant that the boy would let you out of that room "She needs to hear me. I've kept this for a long time and—"

"And you don't have to do that, y/n. It's not up to you…" he didn't mean to sound rude and you knew he hadn't been, after all, Jake was right. It wasn't about you and his willingness to say anything to Lori was only to protect you.

"Just let me…"

"Stay away from her, please?"

Stop asking me like that, you idiot, you mentally screamed, knowing you'd already broken down the instant Jake's hands roamed your waist, pulling you closer to his body.

"But—"

"For me, can you do that?" a whisper so sweet against your lips as Jake slid his bottom lip between yours. You sighed loudly, letting your hands sprawl against his chest as you felt him hug your body even closer.

When you nodded slowly in agreement, Jake smiled weakly before taking your lips and kissing them gingerly. He wanted to take his time kissing you once more, feeling every little part of your mouth as he tried to calm you down from the little incident minutes ago. You could feel his heart beating against the palm of your hand and Jake could feel your rapid breathing gradually calming down against his lips.

The same way you had calmed him all those nights, he wanted to do it right then. Jake wanted you to feel all the care he could offer you.

The kisses, even as they intensified, never stopped being careful until you both needed to catch your breath and pull away from each other this time. No interruptions, no one watching. Just you and him.

"Now we can go home if you want" Jake said after a while, forehead still against yours and a smile adorning the plump lips reddened from the fresh kiss.

"Why? It's early…"

"I'm not going to risk leaving you down there right now" you didn't know Jake's level of concern, but seeing his gaze take over your entire face as he waited for an answer, it was clear he wasn't going to let you stay there unattended.

"Alright, we can go home" you sighed, receiving a grateful smile from him.

But deep down, something in your mind screamed that it wouldn't be easy to stay away from Lori. Because if she stalked Jake even after the breakup, what wouldn't she do to you after tonight?

You didn't know what was hurting more: the pressure of the ice pack on your face or Jake's glare in your direction.

Yes, you practically promised in a roundabout way that you would stay away from Lori. For him. But what about when she comes in with all the rage in your being throwing you to the floor of the university hallway? Should you stay quiet and just take it, or stand up for yourself and manage to twist her nose in the process? Of course, you did the second option without even thinking about the consequences.

It didn't matter that your best friends took you to the university infirmary, just to take care of the little bruises on your face while Kimi called Heeseung. That was the cause of the information and that was why Jake was in the infirmary room with you now.

He paced back and forth, his hands running through his hair frantically and occasionally squeezing his lips as he ran his hands over his face.

Now and then Jake would glance in your direction, catching your eyes on him or – often – seeing you with your eyes closed enjoying the fact that that ice was working on your sharp pain in your cheek.

"Jake" you decided to call him, annoyed by the sudden silence since he had walked in, only exchanging words with your friends before they decided to leave and leave you two alone.

He turned around, staring at you and waiting for you to continue. But nothing came out of his mouth. Just a sigh that he tried to ignore and went back to pacing around.

The silent treatment was making you nervous, even more, painful because it made your whole face contort from the expressions, while Jake barely said anything or mumbled anything. So you thought about getting up and abandoning the ice pack you were holding. Without making any noise, your steps slowly approached the boy who was now standing in the middle of the room with a loud sigh escaping his lips.

"Jake, hey" you called him once again, he turned around so fast by the fright of your voice so close to him. Seeing that your figure was only a step away, he sighed again. Their eyes dropped to the reddening on his cheek.

"What?" Jake finally said, the voice hoarse from lack of use making you – this time – sigh.

"Why are you acting like that?"

"I asked you, y/n. I told you…" his voice raising a little in pitch, he cringed and eased when he saw you shrug "I told you to stay away from her, but you didn't listen."

"Hey, it wasn't my fault!" a groan of pain left your lips as you felt your cheek hurt. Jake approached you so quickly that you barely realized his hand was touching your face now. "It was your fault" you whispered, making him widen his eyes and stop touching your face.

Jake stared at you for a while, hearing your breathing so close to him that the boy swore you could hear anything too. Even more so his heart racing even faster.

"My fault? But I… Why?" he cupped his hands and put them in the pocket of the pants he was wearing. It was your turn to move closer, your hands brushing against his shoulders to slide up to his neck, where you found support to intertwine your fingers in the back of Jake's neck.

"Well, I'll be honest, okay?" you asked, Jake nodding in agreement as his hands went to your waist. The contact made you sigh, smiling with a bit of pain at seeing him so reluctant in his words, but his actions showed otherwise.

You also felt your heart racing from remembering Lori's words, from every little syllable hammering in your mind while – ironically – a smile filled your lips. Jake frowned before he felt yours lean there. Faces close together as you continued to smile.

"She came in furious, screaming down the halls that I was a slut… Again" you shrugged, feeling a slow caress of Jake's fingertips on your waist. That wasn't going to make you lose focus, so to pull yourself together, you took a deep breath "I knew it would happen after that night, but what she said to me made me think about a lot of things."

"What did she tell you?" your eyes quickly traveled over Jake's face, the Adam's apple slowly swaying as he swallowed dryly. The boy's eyes in front of him were closed, dreading his words because, in a way, he could assume what was coming.

"After swearing at me so much, she said you two fought in the library…" Jake opened his eyes, already wide at you.

"Y/n, I—" you kissed his lips quickly to make him stop talking, without deepening the act because you needed to finish. When he understood your actions, the words died in your mouth and Jake remained still, already feeling his whole face burn.

"You finally stood up to her after months of this hell, Jake" your voice sounded cheerful, and with a hint of pride at seeing him finally get over it. Jake smiled just from being completely flustered and embarrassed, but your next words almost left him breathless "She kept wondering how you were able to fall in love with someone else" your face turned away just enough for your gaze to meet that of a static Jake "So you fell in love with me?"

Another dry gulp from your throat and you were able to turn Jake's lips ajar and quivering. He stared into your eyes, but his words wouldn't come out. Nothing was able to roll off his tongue and form something coherent to say to you.

Jake's fingers pulled away from your waist, his hands falling to the side of your body. He wasn't able to hold you while you were shaking.

It was true, he had fallen in love. And even more true, standing up to Loir was – a large part of it – because he'd gotten tired. Tired of all that humiliation she thought he should have to go through. The other part was because Jake, slowly, fell in love with you. Without effort, it flowed so naturally that when he realized it had been enough.

As he listened to his ex-girlfriend swear at him, offend him, and try to offend you as well, Jake stood up. He had never raised his voice with anyone off the soccer field. But this time the boy never felt so free.

"Enough of this shit, Lori. I don't care about you anymore" the look on the librarian's face would have been priceless if it weren't for the anger Jake felt at the moment. He saw the girl in front of him cringe, but pull herself together immediately to try and get out of the situation. He didn't, of course, raise an eyebrow when he remembered all the things she had said "You're going to leave me alone from now on. Because nothing you say to me will have any effect."

"Why?" she tried to laugh, failing when he lifted his lips in a smile "I know it messes with you, Jakey…"

"It did. Past" Jake's smile widened as he sighed to finish his sentence "I'm in love with someone else and she's taking very good care of me. Not letting me be affected by all that shit that comes out of your mouth."

He wouldn't stay in that place listening to whatever it was. Jake felt victorious after you left, even though he knew now that Lori had gone after you because she wasn't satisfied. It was true that you had taught her a lesson after what Jake heard from his friends, how you managed to defend yourself enough to put that crazy woman in her place.

But he also didn't know that Lori would count every word he said.

"Jake" your voice called him back to the present, blinking frantically when he saw you smile. As if catching his breath, Jake nodded his head. Enough for you to reach out again and pull him by the t-shirt he was wearing. Jake tilted his neck to level his face to yours, welcoming your soft lips that pressed against his.

The shared kiss was so full of feeling that he could only sigh against your lips as he fought for dominance inside your mouth. Jake's hands pulled you closer around your waist, pressing your body against his and being careful with the force exerted because he knew it could hurt if he tried any harder.

"I'm in love with you too, Jake Sim" your voice still being muffled by Jake's lips, who smiled between the kiss before finishing and sealing your lips with his.

That was music to Jake's ears. To feel good about someone again, even though he thought it would be impossible because of everything he had experienced. But when you arrived, without even asking permission, you had already completely changed the course of his feelings. He knew he was meant to have you in his life as soon as your arms went around Jake's waist that night, holding him without knowing him. Just to hear him cry and vent. There he knew.

"Come on, let's go home" he whispered before kissing you again, slowly and leaning his forehead against yours in the process.

"But I need to find the girls—"

"I'll call Heeseung and let them know we're going home, they'll find you there" Jake pulled away, taking your hand and entwining your fingers together with his.

"What's the rush, Jake Sim?" your hand slowly squeezed his, causing Jake to laugh as the boy grabbed his belongings from the infirmary room to leave.

Stepping through the front door, leading the way while still holding your hand, Jake felt your face lean against his shoulder. Gently as he still felt a little pain. Jake leaned down to kiss the top of your head quickly.

"Because I want you to hug me like you did the first time" you stopped walking as soon as you heard his words, your heart racing even more after seeing him smile at you. That smile so beautiful and bright right next to your face, you could only kiss him again, hearing him whisper against your lips "Only now I can earn some kisses too, right?"

Laughing, you nibbled lightly on Jake's lip before pulling away. Hugging him like the first time, on the couch at his place while kissing him now… It was everything you imagined before, but it felt a thousand times better now that it was happening.

#jake fluff #enhanet #hyfenet #jake angst #sim jaeyun fluff #sim jaeyun angst #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen masterlist #enhypen x reader #jake x reader #jake sim x reader #enhypen jake #jaeyun fluff #jaeyun angst #enhypen au #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #bay writes.

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seoll3miwrites · 7 months ago

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December Night | Lyutsifer Safin x Reader

Masterlist | Part 3 to "Cherry" | Previous Y/N is home alone throughout the festive season, still she finds peace in isolation. This peace is broken when some intruders enter her home with the intention to get information about Lyutsifer; by any means necessary. (WC: 3075)

Warnings: Torture, Blood, Guns, Brief mention of waterboarding, General Violence, Secret cameras, Stalker behaviour

AN: Y/N is missing all the red flags here, sorry

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It was December now, which meant it had been two months since the masquerade. Two months since Y/N had made the biggest mistake of her life and had almost allowed it to go further than what it did.

Now she was sitting alone at her flat, eating a shitty Chinese takeaway as a random Christmas movie played on her TV. She’d just gotten up to grab a glass of wine from her fridge when a knock at the door halted her movements.

She wasn’t expecting anyone and instantly was on guard as a result. After carefully pulling one of her handguns from its hidden compartment, she slowly made her way to the door before swinging it open.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” Y/N asked the figure in the doorway with a guarded expression, right hand hidden behind her back with her finger on the trigger.

The strange older man smiled at her, “Forgive me for the late visit, but it’s a matter of great importance. May we come in?”

At his question, her eyes drifted behind him, where she spotted three other men staring at her with a strange, almost intimidating expression. Quickly understanding the situation, Y/N smiled politely and slowly began to close the door. “Sorry, I think you have the wrong place.”

Before she could fully close the door, one of the men behind him stepped forward and forcefully pushed the door open, causing her to stumble backwards into the wall. Raising her gun, she aimed it at them. “Stay back!”

Instead of listening, the three men simply laughed at her before rushing her at once. Y/N fought back as hard as she could, but being outnumbered three to one predictably didn’t work in her favour. Two of them grabbed her by her arms and held her upright as the older man stepped into her flat.

“No, I think we are in exactly the right place,” he spoke slowly before gesturing to the men holding her to carry her to the kitchen. “Tie her to a chair.”

Without question, they pull Y/N down onto one of her kitchen chairs as the third one steps forward and uses zip ties to latch her wrists to the chairs. She let out a hiss when one of the ties began to dig into her skin.

The older man appeared in front of her again, bending down to look her in the eye. “Now, what do you know about Doctor Lyutsifer Safin?”

Without hesitation she replied, “I don’t know anything.”

“This is going to be very painful for you…”

The next two hours for Y/N were a haze of pain and noise. For the first hour she would repeat the same phrase over and over as they continued to hit, cut, and beat her, “I don’t know anything.” It became almost like a mantra for her, but as the torture continued, her mind went numb, and she fell silent.

At one point they grew tired of her silence and decided to pour water over her as her own kitchen towel was placed over her head. She gagged and screamed into the water, but even then she refused to speak.

After the second hour, Y/N finally had a reprieve when they decided to take a break from her torture. The older man had left the kitchen to search her house, followed by two of the men, leaving the third watching her carefully. As they waited for the others to return from their search, there was suddenly another knock on the door.

The silence was broken by a sharp knock at the front door, a sound that echoed through the room. The single remaining man in the kitchen paused, his eyes darting to the door for a moment. After a brief pause, he looked back at Y/N, who was sitting tied to a chair, her expression now one of pain and exhaustion.

"Who could that be?" His voice was rough, a hint of irritation lacing his words.

“Maybe you should do your job and find out.” She replied, her voice from her own screams.

Her ear rang as he harshly smacked her in the face in response, “Watch your fucking mouth, you bitch.”

The sound of the knock at the door echoed through the flat again, this time a little more impatient. The man uttered a small “fuck” before making his way to the door and opening it.

The tension in the room grew as the man began to walk towards the door, clearly irritated by the unexpected guest. He gripped his gun, preparing for whatever or whoever stood on the other side of the door.

He opened the door with a loud creak, revealing an unexpected scene. Standing there was a tall figure in a dark overcoat and black leather gloves, the shadow from the hood of his coat hiding his face.

"What do you want?" the man asked gruffly, his grip on the gun still firm.

With the man distracted, Y/N began to try and squeeze at least one of her hands from the zip ties that forced her to stay in the chair. She let out small whimpers as the plastic dug deeper into her skin; her right wrist had even begun to bleed slightly from the struggle.

She froze when a familiar voice rang through the flat, “Where is she?”

The man at the door tensed slightly at the unexpected voice. He instinctively gripped his gun tighter, his eyes darting briefly to the figure in the shadow.

"Who's asking?" he replied, his tone gruff and cold.

Instead of responding, the mysterious figure instead raised his right hand, revealing a silenced pistol. Before the other man could react, he fired several shots into his chest and watched as he fell to the ground, lifeless.

Suddenly hands were cupping Y/N's face, tilting it around as whoever was in front of her was assessing the damage. Her eyes were blurry now, and she could barely make out a face; afraid, she tried to pull back from the stranger.

“It's me, darling. It's me." The voice was low, a familiar, calming timbre.

Instinctively her body relaxed as she recognised the voice in front of her, “Lyutisfer…” she whispered brokenly.

“Yes, it's me, my darling." He gently tilted her face up to look at him, his tone soothing, "Can you stand?"

She tried to shake her head, only to wince when it made her feel nauseous. “My wrists are tied... I can’t move...”

"Hold still a moment," he said gently, positioning himself behind her so he could see the bindings on her wrists.

With skilled precision, he retrieved a knife from his pocket and swiftly sliced through the ties, freeing her hands from their constraints. Finally free to mouth, she let out a small cry as she rubbed her wrists in discomfort only to accidentally rub against the open wound on her right wrist.

He saw her reaction and immediately reached forward, gently taking her wrist in his hand.

"Be careful," he murmured, his touch gentle but firm, as he looked at the open wound. "This needs tending to."

“Wait, there's three other men upstairs,” she spoke in alarm, her eyes wide as she struggled to focus her sight.

Nevertheless, he didn’t let go and spoke to her in comfort, “My men will take care of them.”

His words emphasised when Y/N heard the distinct sound of three bodies dropping on the floor above them. As the sound of three bodies hitting the floor echoed through the flat, Y/N's eyes widened in realisation at the implications of his words. But before she could utter another word, a man rushed down the stairs, armed and on high alert.

“We need to leave; it’s possible they have backup.”

Lyutsifer nodded at the man's words, acknowledging the urgency. "You're right," he said, his voice still calm and composed. "There's no time to lose."

He gently tightened his grip on her wrist, guiding her out of the chair she had been bound to. Before they could take more than one step, however, Y/N's exhausted body finally gave out, and she collapsed suddenly, her legs too weak to bear her weight any longer.

Lyutsifer moved fast, catching her body before she could hit the ground. He scooped her up into his arms, holding her close, an arm under her legs and the other under her back.

"Easy, darling," he murmured, his hold strong and secure, "I've got you."

“Where are we going?” Y/N asked in a daze, a strange confusion settling in her mind.

With Y/N cradled in his arms, Lyutsifer started to move towards the front door, the other man falling into step behind him.

At her question, he glanced down at her, his expression serious.

"Somewhere safe," he responded, his voice steady, "somewhere they won't be able to find you."

Her eyes were growing droopy as a wave of fatigue hit her again; she wanted to sleep. Still she was able to mumble to him, “They were looking for you, not me.”

"I know," he responded, his voice low, "but they'll use you to get to me if they have no other options. So we can't risk it."

“I didn’t tell them anything…” Her voice was growing more and more slurred.

He continued to carry her through the front door and outside, where a black Rolls-Royce was waiting.

"I know you didn't," he assured her, his voice still calm. "You did well, darling."

She smiled tiredly at him before it quickly fell again. “I’m tired…”

"You can rest now," he said, his voice low and gentle. He reached the car, and one of his men immediately opened the door for him.

He slowly lowered her into the backseat, adjusting her so she was comfortable against the plush seats. Lyutisfer then slid in next to her before calling over to the driver in the front, “Drive. Now.”

Y/N felt the car pull away, the motion making her feel even more nauseous than before. So, she slowly tilted herself to the left and lowered herself into Lyutsifer’s lap before closing her eyes with a groan.

As she felt herself drift off to sleep, the last thing she heard was his soft, comforting words, "Rest, darling," he said, his voice quiet. "We'll be there soon enough."

The next time Y/N woke up, it was to the sounds of distant waves and a bright light above her. As she blindly felt around her, she soon realised she was now on a large bed that was covered in black silk sheets.

Having only awakened mere minutes ago, confusion and fear quickly set in as she rapidly looked around the room. She tried to slide herself off of the bed so she could escape wherever she was, only to stop when the door suddenly opened and Lyutsifer stepped inside.

"You're awake," he said, his voice calm. "How do you feel?"

“Where is this?” She asked unsure but still felt herself relax slightly when she saw him.

"You're in a safe place," he assured her. "Somewhere they won't find us."

Y/N nodded in understanding, turning to look around the room again and froze when she saw the IV drip and heart monitor next to the bed. “How long have I been asleep for?”

He followed her gaze, noticing her focus on the medical equipment next to the bed. Her question hung in the air for a brief moment before he answered.

"Three days," he said bluntly, his voice matter-of-fact. "The doctor said you needed rest. And for your wounds to heal properly."

For some reason the only thing she could think of saying in that moment was a small, “Oh.”

Despite her short response, he could practically see the questions and confusion flooding her mind. His gaze didn't leave her, observing her closely as if trying to read her thoughts.

"You had a concussion among other injuries," he continued, his voice still firm but not without an undertone of concern. "The doctor had to stitch your wrist, and you'd lost a fair bit of blood. You needed time to recuperate.”

“How bad was it,” she asked before continuing, “when you came in that night, I mean?”

His expression darkened as he recalled the memory. The sight of her bound and injured still fresh in his mind.

"Bad," he replied simply, his voice lower than before, "You were hurt, bleeding. They'd hit you, bound you. But they hadn't gone any further, not yet at least."

“Good.” She blurted out at his last statement, meaning to say it in her head.

"Good?" he echoed, stepping closer to the bed. “You’re glad you were only beaten and bound?”

“I’ve had worse.” She shrugged, only to wince when she felt pain shoot through her back.

"I'm sure you have," he said, coming to a stop near the bed. His eyes were still fixed on her as he spoke, his tone a mix of concern and caution. "But your back clearly still hurts, which means your wounds aren't healed yet. You should stay still."

She nodded in understanding before looking back at him, “How did you even know what was happening?”

He leaned against the bed frame, hands in his pockets, as he looked down at her.

"I had cameras set up in your flat," he admitted, his gaze unwavering. “I had a feeling they'd come for you eventually. The moment I saw what was happening, I came."

“Everywhere in my flat?” She asked with slight alarm, remembering a certain night a week ago when she may have called out a certain name in bed.

He smirked at her question, the alarm in her voice not missed by him.

"Every room," he confirmed, his tone taking on a slightly teasing edge. He leaned a little closer, eyes studying her intensely. "Including the bedroom."

“Oh god!” She exclaimed and put her face in her hands, “How many people saw it?”

He chuckled at her mortified reaction, enjoying the blush that spread across her face.

"Don't worry," he reassured her, his tone slightly amused, "I was the only one watching that night."

“Please tell me you deleted the footage.” Y/N replied, her face still buried in her hands.

He chuckled again, enjoying seeing her so flustered. He reached out and gently pulled her hands away from her face, forcing her to look at him.

"What if I said 'no'?" he teased, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

“Then it better be locked up even better than the Pentagon, you voyeuristic pervert.” She replied back but for some reason couldn’t find it in her to be completely angry. Although it had invaded her privacy, it had also saved her life.

"Voyeuristic pervert, hm?" he mused, his tone light and playful. "I'm wounded by that, darling. My intentions were purely protective, not perverted."

His words sobered her up again, “I know… I owe you my life.”

"You don't owe me anything," he said firmly, his voice now serious. "I did what I had to do, what any man would have done for a person they..."

He cut himself off, his eyes narrowing slightly, as if he'd said more than he intended to. Noticing his hesitation, Y/N inched closer to him with a curious, hopeful expression. “Yes?”

His gaze flicked to her when she inched closer, his eyes meeting hers. He took a moment, weighing his words, before continuing. "For a person they care about," he said, his voice quieter, "For a person they want to protect."

With sheer intensity, she placed her hands on his face and pulled him towards her into a deep kiss.

Caught off guard momentarily, he froze for a brief instant as her hands cupped his face, drawing him closer. But as her lips met his in a deep, intense kiss, any surprise he may have had melted away.

Lyutsifer responded with equal fervour, one hand instantly going to the back of her neck, pulling her even closer, while the other gripped the edge of the bed. Y/N tried to ignore the burn of her back as she tried to sit up so she could kiss him deeper. Subtly wincing into his lips, but refusing to pull away.

Her attempt to sit up and intensify the kiss didn’t go unnoticed by him. As she winced in pain, he felt her gasp against his lips, the subtle wince she tried to hide. Not wanting to cause her further discomfort, he slowly eased her back against the pillows, breaking the kiss. He pulled away, his eyes scanning her face, concern etched in his features.

"Darling, you need to rest," he said, his voice stern but soft. "You're still healing; you shouldn't move so much."

“Haven’t I made you wait long enough?” She asked, trying to sit back up again only to be stopped by his hands holding her down.

“You’ve been asleep for three days,” he replied, a hint of amusement in his voice. “I can wait a little longer.”

He reached over, his fingers brushing a loose strand of hair away from her face. “You’re too eager, darling. You need time to properly recover.”

With a sigh, Y/N looked down slightly but nodded in disappointed understanding, “So how long am I stuck in this bed then?”

"For at least a few more days," he answered, his tone firm. "You need to rest and let your body heal. The doctor will be checking on you regularly, and you'll have to take it easy until your wounds are fully healed."

“And then?”

He ran his fingers idly through her hair as she asked her question, his touch gentle and tender.

"And then," he replied, "you'll be free to move around again. Well, within reason."

He smirked before continuing, "But you'll still have to take it easy for a while. No more attempting to break out of bed just because you're impatient."

“So what exactly am I supposed to do till then?” She asked as Lyutsifer moved to sit next to her on the bed.

"Rest, darling," he said, his tone firm but not without a hint of affection. "You need to let your body recover. You can read, watch TV, or I could find you something to keep you occupied. But you're not leaving this room for the time being."

“Okay.” She agreed, although secretly she couldn’t wait for the doctor to sign her off and allow her to move around again.

#fanfic #oneshot #x reader #rami malek #rami malek x reader #y/n #reader insert #lyutsifer safin x reader #lyutsifer safin #james bond #fem!reader

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dustmusings · 5 months ago

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the bitter truth

entry for @clonexocweek day 5: future

pairing: echo x kandam'aira

summary: after Kan makes a troubling realisation, she has to face up to the reality of what her and Echo's future looks like under the reign of the Empire

tags/warnings: hurt/comfort, unwanted pregnancy, vague discussion of abortion, panic attack symptoms, general discussion of family/parenthood, angst as all heck but echo is a supportive king <3

a/n: kan and echo return!!!!!! but... this is kinda a tough one. sorry. pls pls heed the warnings for this because it is a pretty heavy topic. it kinda builds on stuff from the last chapter but also stands by itself, for those who aren't familiar with their story :)

echo x kan masterlist / main masterlist / join my taglist / wc: 1.8k

“Fuck”

Kan stared down at the device in her hands, her mind blank and running through every possibility at the same time. She looked away and then back to it once more, the result it bared still the same.

“Fuck” she repeated, slumping back against the wall as the weight of consequences washed over her.

She thought they had been careful, making sure that this outcome wasn't possible. She had the implant, they used protection, yet somehow… here she was; with child.

The thought made her stomach turn, and she slid down the wall to crumple to the floor, tears springing to her eyes. She drew her knees into her chest, staring at the wall opposite as she tried to form a coherent thought. She couldn't see this through — that much she knew. She was steadfast in her views, that the rebellion came before anything, there was little that could shake that belief. It would be selfish of her, to abandon her duties, to give life to someone when she lived in such conditions.

A choked sob escaped her, her throat feeling like it was closing up, that she couldn't get air into her lungs fast enough to take a full breath. Her hands tangled in her hair, pulling at her scalp to try and ground herself, to bring her back to the present moment.

It was made difficult by the incessant and nagging voice at the back of her mind, the one that told her that this should be a happy discovery, that this was something she wanted. She couldn't allow herself to listen to it, she wouldn't. It wasn't realistic. She had to get rid of it.

It.

It was callous to call what should be such a joyous creation by the dehumanising title, but it was the only thing she could do to block out her true desires. Even though it was true, confirmed by the test she had just done, it was still hypothetical. The hypothetical child she might have if the galaxy was any different. It was not real.

A knock sounded at the door of the refresher, and Kan's head snapped up, a stroke of panic jolting through her body.

“M'aira? You alright?”

Kan's brows pinched at the care in Echo's voice, the edge of worry, of softness, that seemed to be reserved for only her.

“Yeah” she spoke up, surprising her self by how stable her voice sounded.

She knew that she had to tell him. She fully intended to, but for right now she needed to sort out her own mind, how she felt about it, before involving him.

A silence stretched out between them, the door concealing the way both of them held their breath. Finally, Kan heard Echo shift his weight, the scuff of his boot against the floor giving him away.

“You've been in there a while…” he spoke gently, “is everything okay?”

Kan swallowed thickly, trying to steady her voice once more before she spoke, but her words were stuck in her throat. Her head hit the wall with a dull thud as she gave up trying, and her tears streamed down the side of her face, dampening her already unruly hair. She tried to regain control of her breath at the very least, taking deep breaths and filling her lungs as much as she could without making it obvious she was doing so.

“M'aira?” Echo's voice cut through softly. Kan couldn't think of what to say. She couldn't tell him everything was fine, he was impossible to lie to after all. He could see straight through her. The shuffling of his steps could be heard once more, “I'm coming in… is that okay?”

Kan sighed, her voice impossibly small as she spoke up, “yes”

The door to the refresher zipped open, and Echo's eyes widened as he took in the sight of her, dishevelled and tear-stained on the floor. He was on his knees in front of her in a matter of seconds, and Kan rested her chin on her knees as she looked up at him with a pitiful expression, painfully aware of how defeated she looked. He seemed so alarmed, his eyes searching hers and brows pulled into a deep frown. Kan couldn't imagine what he was thinking, finding her like this.

“M'aira, ner cyare, what's happened?” his voice was almost a whisper as he took her face in his hands.

Kan didn't know how to broach the topic. “I… I'm—” she swallowed the lump in her throat, and her eyes unwittingly flicked to the side where the testing device lay, as if it would help her communicate the news.

Echo followed her line of sight, and Kan watched as his brain registered exactly what the item was. His breath stuttered, his gentle grip on her face loosening further, and his pupils seemed more dilated when his gaze returned to hers.

“Is that what I think it is?” he kept his voice neutral, and Kan nodded slowly.

She wasn't necessarily worried for his reaction to the news itself, but having to explain her point of view on the matter was a little more concerning. Echo was understanding, but she feared that this wasn't in the realm of things he could understand, given his experience of life being through the lens of masculinity only.

Kan could tell he was trying to find the right thing to say, a little out of his depth all things considered. The look in his eyes was intense, and yet it held no indication of his thoughts at all. As the quiet drew out, Kan began to feel doubt gnawing at her mind.

“I take it…” Echo began tentatively, “that this is not a good thing”

Kan chuckled despite herself, and the sound was pitiful through the veil of sorrow, “I don't know”

Echo gave her a gentle and sympathetic smile. “How are you feeling?” he murmured, pressing his forehead into hers.

Kan closed her eyes, feeling calmed by the gesture, and she took a deep, steadying breath, “I don't think I have an answer for that right now”

“Okay” he said ever so quietly.

He stroked his thumb across her cheek, tracing a line through her tattoos as if they were a maze, something he often did in quiet moments between them. The chill of the cybernetic's metal against her heated skin was a welcome reprieve, helping to ground her in a way only he was capable of.

“Can I hold you?” he whispered, making Kan's eyes flutter open.

She sniffled as she replied, “please”

Echo pulled her into his embrace, sitting back against the opposite wall of the refresher and cradling her body in his. He pressed a kiss to her head, and Kan could feel a little of the tension drain from her body. Kan knew Echo well enough to know that his mind must be running wild, every possible reason why she might be so upset mingling and creating some kind of monster formed of insecurities, taunting him in ways that she didn't want to imagine.

“I love you, Echo” she looked up at him and said the words with purpose. She didn't want that getting lost in translation, and she wouldn't let any contradictory thoughts linger in his mind.

Echo smiled down at her, his honey coloured eyes crinkling around the edges, “I love you too, M'aira”

Kan sighed, and reached up to hold his jaw. She could tell he wanted to understand, but was hesitant to ask.

“What are you thinking, cyar'ika?” he asked in a whisper.

Kan's eyes welled with tears once more without permission. “A lot of things” she replied, tracing his cheekbone with her thumb. She watched as Echo's throat bobbed, and he seemed to steel himself before speaking.

“If you don't want… this, with me, then that's okay” he uttered, “you can tell me”

It was obvious that he was saddened by the idea, even though he still held a strong exterior, and Kan's heart lurched in her chest.

She shook her head, “it's not that at all”

Uncertainty slid across Echo's eyes, “what is it then?”

Kan exhaled slowly, resting her head against his shoulder as she prepared to divulge everything she held in her mind.

“I'd love nothing more than to have a family with you Echo, I… I think you knew that” she began, “but… I can't—”

Kan puffed out a breath as she failed to contain her tears, and Echo rubbed her back tenderly, “take your time”

She gave herself a moment to collect herself before speaking again.

“I can't bring a life into this galaxy” she stated, her voice as steady as her resolve in feeling so, “I can't condemn my child to live under this Empire, without knowing if it would ever end. It wouldn't be fair, and I… I don't want that for you either” her voice cracked before she continued, “but I— I don't want you to miss out on something like this, especially if you don't have as long as I do”

“If you wanted to— if you… I just— if—” Kan sighed as words failed her, “I would understand if you—”

“M'aira” Echo cut her off, his tone that of warning, “I dont like what you’re insinuating”

Kan hung her head, turning away from his displeased frown, “I know”

Echo was quiet for a moment, then slipped his hand under her jaw to tilt her head back up.

“I'm not ‘missing out’ on anything. If you don't want this, then neither do I” he stated, speaking with a directness that anyone else might have been startled by. “I care far more about you, now, than anything else that might be, and as far as I’m concerned… this is a family” he held her tighter then, “we don't need a child to confirm that”

Kan let the edges of lips lift, first in a sad smile, but letting her mind linger on the idea, it turned more melancholic. “A little Echo would be very cute though” she commented.

Echo chuckled, shaking his head lightly, “not as cute as a mini M'aira, I'm sure”

The sting of tears in Kan's eyes reflected the pang of hurt in her heart, at the reminder that it could never be, not in the current climate.

“Hey” Echo took her chin, gaining her attention before her eyes could become too glazed over and mind too clouded by unhappy thoughts. “We'll be okay” he told her firmly, earning a tearful nod, “if it…”

Kan raised an eyebrow as he trailed off, “if what?”

“If there ever comes a time that you do want something like this… we could always adopt instead”

Kan smiled, and something like hope set alight in her chest, flickering into a small flame from only embers. “Yeah” she thought aloud, “yeah, I like that idea”

Echo gave her a warm smile as he bumped his forehead with hers. “I love you, M'aira” he told her, “this galaxy might be cruel, but I wont let it stop you from taking what you want from it”

Kan tilted her head and pressed a short but ardent kiss to his lips, pulling back to offer him a thankful smile, “I love you, Echo”

technical devotion taglist: @darthnihila @cdblake1565 @bunny7567 @heidnspeak @falling-among-the-stars @clones-cyare

#clonexocweek #clonexocweek2025 #clonexocweek day 5 #echo x oc #echo x kandam'aira #echo x kan #oc: kandam'aira #technical devotion #star wars #the clone wars #tcw #the bad batch #tbb #tbb echo

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thisbluespirit · 1 year ago

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How To Find Your (British Actor) Blorbo On The Radio: A Brief Guide

(Disclaimer: British, because the main tool I'm using is the BBC's Genome.)

If you want more of your fave actor, or you love full-cast drama podcasts/audios (and audiobooks/NF content too) here's a guide on how to get your hands on BBC Radio broadcasts.

The BBC have a great free resource called Genome, which has all the Radio Times listings from 1922 to the present day (plus some of the actual articles), and it's searchable. Up until its arrival, it was really hard to do that, so \o/

Not all actors do radio and not everything you find will be obtainable, but it's always worth a try! It's especially likely for actor-blorbos who do other audio work, or theatre (theatre tends not to pay so well, and radio is a handy extra thing that can be more easily slotted in between performances than TV/film.)

Go to Genome, and put your blorbo's name into the search box:

Press search, which will bring back a bunch of results from both radio and TV listings from 1922 up to the current year:

2. Filter down to "radio only" on the sidebar to avoid scrolling through all the TV. At the top of the page you can change the display order to First broadcast (or Availability, if you want it only to bring things currently available to stream on the BBC website), among other options.

I can also cut down on extraneous results by selecting a date range that only covers when my guy was active.

I scroll down until I find something that looks interesting, in this case a proper audio drama, called The Hornblower Story. It's from 1980 and is an adaptation of a well known book. The details give me enough info to search the wider internet, and see if I get lucky...

3. Search the internet and listen to your blorbo act in radio drama!

There are several ways to obtain radio drama online. If you use streaming sites like Audible and Spotify, it may be there, although usually only if it's had a commercial release.

The BBC still broadcast old programmes on the radio, so it might be currently available on their website to stream - and unlike TV, you can listen to BBC Radio anywhere in the world! (If you are in the UK, you can also download and use the BBC Sounds app.) The Genome will usually provide a link for you to go straight there, if that's the case.

However, obviously, most BBC Radio from past decades is not available commercially or being broadcast by the BBC now and some doesn't exist in the archives, or was never recorded (as with TV), but as methods of recording audio at home have been widely available since the 1950s and 60s, there are loads of off-air recordings of radio made by listeners/collectors, and some have freely shared their copies online. Some are in closed forums etc., but three good sites to try first are YouTube, RadioEchoes & the Internet Archive.

I usually start with a Google search - e.g. '"Title" radio' or radio bbc and if that doesn't give me anything add on first "Radio Echoes" and then "Internet archive" to the search.

And I'm in luck! Radio Echoes appear to have the adaptation I'm after. I need to check the broadcast dates to see if they match up & then I can stream or download for free - and hear my blorbo play a stern Admiral for 5 minutes or less, hurrah!

Clicking on the links takes you to a screen where you can press play to stream or right click on the play bar to download the mp3 file to your device. (Click the "Save audio as..." option).

These are archive off-air recordings, so the quality can vary, especially for older programmes.

4. Rinse and repeat with each new likely Genome discovery.

If you find a copy of what you're looking for on the Internet Archive instead, you'll get up a page with a play bar (like the one above), with episodes listed plus details (to varying degrees) below. If you want to stream, just click play and enjoy. If you want to download it, then click on the MP3 files line on the right-hand sidebar, which will then give you an "X no of files" button to click and you can download them to keep.

(You can download all the files, but I usually cut straight to the chase and just nab the MP3s.)

Sometimes the BBC have released a commercial audiobook. In those cases, if you already use audio/music streaming subscription sites like Audible or Spotify, you should be able to find it there.

If you don't, or you want to buy a download, I've found the best option (weirdly!) (for UK users, at any rate) is to get the audiobook up at Penguin Books, which links to various paid subscription streaming and download options, so you can find the best one for you (and you know it's been recced by a hopefully reputable source.)

Last year, I wanted to buy Vivat Rex, the BBC's landmark dramatisation of all the English history plays rolled into one giant starry-cast Jacobean audio serial, and successfully used this route. (I'm very old by internet terms and still like listening via MP3 files on my MP3 player, as long as it survives.)

Pretty much the only affordable download option I've found so far I got courtesy of Penguin's links to Hive. (But this may be a UK only option.)

If what you're looking for seems likely to exist even if you can't find it by any of these methods - keep trying! New things are being added daily to all these websites, and the BBC cycle round old shows all the time.

And if you want to go deeper, there are closed forums etc. for radio enthusiasts where you need to make an account, but you may then be able to torrent or download an even wider variety of things.

Of course, whether or not your blorbo has been in anything good or any radio at all will depend on them, but I hope this guide will help enable you to find out!

YouTube, Radio Echoes, the Internet Archive and Old Time Radio all have radio from other countries too. So while the BBC Genome can't help you with anywhere outside the UK, the other links here can be good places to look around and browse for things you might be interested in.

You can of course use the same methods to search for things like a favourite author, or particular plays, to see if the BBC have done any radio adaptations - BBC Radio have done heaps of things that have never been adapted on screen, so it's always worth a look for anything you'd be into.

Radio Echoes is browsable as well as searchable, and while Internet Archive is a bit less so, there are some excellent collections you can look through, like the Saturday Night Theatre collection, and the BBC Radio Shows listings.

#bbc #radio #audio drama #resources #genome #radioechoes #internet archive #podcasts #radio drama #radio comedy #audiobooks

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mariacallous · 11 months ago

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When US senator JD Vance, an Ohio Republican, was rolled out as former president Donald Trump’s running mate last month, the move had several seeming aims. It was a nod to rich supporters like Vance’s patron, Peter Thiel; a way to present the electorate with a more youthful face than Trump’s; and a play for the working-class voters around whom Vance grew up, as he wrote about in his bestselling book Hillbilly Elegy.

All of this was almost immediately undermined when comments Vance made in a 2021 Fox News interview, claiming the country is being run by “childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made,” came to light. There was, it quickly became clear, more where that came from.

Among other things, Vance has suggested that people in “violent” marriages shouldn’t get divorced. In a 2021 interview, Vance criticized abortion exceptions for rape and incest, saying that the unborn fetuses in pregnancies resulting from these situation were seen as “inconvenient.” Vance has said that US representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had a “sociopathic attitude towards family,” claiming that the New York Democrat said it is “immoral to have children because of climate change concerns.” (She did not say this.) Vance also suggested in a 2021 speech that adults who have children should get extra votes.

“We have to go to war against the anti-child ideology that exists in our country,” Vance told the Federalist in an interview in 2021.

Vance and the Trump campaign have dismissed these remarks as taken out of context, but like many other comments related to women that Vance, Trump, and their allies have made, they do not exist in a vacuum. In fact, they almost perfectly echo the rhetoric of accused rapist and human trafficker Andrew Tate and members of the online misogynist community. (Tate, the most prominent and influential of a group of professional misogynist influencers, has denied the allegations against him.) And the Trump campaign is not just passively repeating the misogynistic talking points of the so-called manosphere, but actively engaging with it to court the votes of isolated young men—a group to which both Trump and Vance have a history of attempting to appeal.

Examples abound. Tate has, for instance, called women who don’t want kids “miserable stupid bitches” while telling the misogynistic Fresh and Fit podcast, in an episode now deleted from its YouTube channel, that “life without children [...] is inane and it’s pointless.” He went on: “If you sit here and genuinely think you’re going to work your ass off through your fertile years and by the age of 54, you’re not going to be suicidal, alone with a cat, then you are dumb.”

Trump, for his part, is reported to have repeatedly called Harris a “bitch” in private and has called women “dumb” as well as “crazy” and “low IQ” on multiple occasions. (In the past month alone, Trump has called Harris “low IQ” and “dumb as a rock” at rallies and in social media posts.) Trump once referred to former White House aide Omarosa Manigault Newman as a “crazed, crying lowlife.” He also called her a “dog.”

Tate has repeatedly compared women to dogs, telling Barstool Sports’s Dave Portnoy in an interview in 2022, “You can’t be responsible for something that doesn’t listen to you. You can’t be responsible for a dog if it doesn’t obey you, or a child if it doesn’t obey you, or a woman that doesn’t obey you.” (Portnoy, who is known for his own misogynistic views, responded to Vance’s suggestion that childless adults should pay more in taxes on X: “This is fucking idiotic.”)

“President Trump has empowered women throughout his career as a businessman and in politics, promoting women to senior roles in both his company and campaign,” Karoline Leavitt, national press secretary for the Trump campaign told WIRED, labeling the premise of this article “outrageous.”

“It's shocking to see rhetoric typically reserved for the annals of internet forums repeated by some of the most powerful politicians in America,” Nina Jankowicz, the former Biden administration disinformation czar, who is now CEO of the American Sunlight Project, tells WIRED. “Well beyond the presidential race, these sorts of attacks aim to denigrate women and their value as human beings, and aim to encourage women to stay out of politics and public life. They have no place in our politics.”

Of course, it should also be remembered that both Trump and Tate have been accused by multiple women of sexual misconduct. Trump has been found in court to have sexually abused E. Jean Carroll, and just last week Romanian authorities opened another investigation into Tate in relation to accusations of trafficking women as young as 15.

Trump and Tate appear to be aligned on another subject: porn.

Tate, who is facing allegations of sexually exploiting women by forcing them to make pornographic videos for financial gain, has long railed against what he sees as the evils of pornography.

“As masculinity has plummeted, a whole bunch of men are simply not having sex anymore, and then they become addicted to porn, which is cucking, effectively,” Tate told Tucker Carlson in an interview last year. “Two people are having sex and you’re just watching it.”

Should Trump succeed in retaking the White House in November’s election, he could seek to criminalize porn, according to the 922-page Project 2025 document that outlines plans for a second Trump term. (While Trump has disavowed the document, it is the product of his allies and of former Trump administration officials. One of the report’s authors, Russell Vought, told undercover journalists from the Centre for Climate Reporting in a meeting earlier this month that Trump’s efforts to distance himself from Project 2025 were just “graduate-level politics.” Vance also wrote a foreword to a since-postponed book written by Project 2025’s architect, Kevin Roberts.)

“Their product is as addictive as any illicit drug and as psychologically destructive as any crime,” Roberts, the president of the right-wing Heritage Foundation, writes of pornographers in the document. “Pornography should be outlawed. The people who produce and distribute it should be imprisoned. Educators and public librarians who purvey it should be classed as registered sex offenders. And telecommunications and technology firms that facilitate its spread should be shuttered.”

The links between Trump, Vance, and figures like Tate and the virulently toxic incel community appear to be, at least in part, strategic.

As Trump’s own campaign managers have outlined his strategy, “secluded, MAGA-sympathetic voters who have proved difficult to engage,” as The Atlantic put it, are one of the campaign’s primary messaging targets.

To that end, a pro-Trump PAC has launched a $20 million campaign to reach young voters that was kicked off with Vance’s appearance on the Full Send Podcast hosted by the Nelk Boys, a group of four men who have a huge following among young conservative males.

The Nelk Boys have in the past hosted Tate as well as Nico Kenn De Balinthazy, another far-right influencer better known as Sneako. De Balinthazy has fantasized about being allowed to hit women as men were 50 years ago. In one video uploaded to TikTok, he was caught on camera hitting a woman and responding that she had “been acting up all night.”

On their podcast, the Nelk Boys have repeatedly defended the misogynistic rhetoric espoused by both Tate and De Balinthazy.

Trump has been interviewed several times by the Nelk Boys, labeling their work “important,” and was recently pictured alongside Sneako at an MMA event.

Trump also was recently interviewed by streamer Adin Ross, an ally of Tate’s who infamously inadvertently tipped off authorities about Tate’s plans to flee Romania. He was also kicked off Twitch for showing "unmoderated hateful conduct" in a chat and hosting the white nationalist Nick Fuentes. During the interview, Ross gifted Trump with a gaudily-wrapped Tesla Cybertruck and a Rolex, which some experts say may have violated campaign finance rules.

Trump’s misogynistic worldview has bled into other areas of conservative politics, too.

Even before Kamala Harris officially replaced President Joe Biden as the Democratic Party’s presidential nominee, the right was demonizing her as a “DEI hire” —a phrase Tate has used to criticize women in the past.

Prominent right-wing media figures have similarly made numerous misogynistic comments in recent months. In April, Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk blamed birth control for creating “very angry and bitter young ladies” and falsely claimed that the medication “screws up the female brain.” Alec Lace, a regular Fox Business contributor, appeared on the station last month and felt it was OK to call Harris the “original Hawk Tuah girl, that’s the way she got where she is” before adding that she is a “DEI vice president.” And just last month, Fox News prime time host Jesse Watters claimed: “When a man votes for a woman, he actually transitions into a woman.”

At the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee last month, the speaker list featured Dana White, who was caught on camera slapping his wife, and Hulk Hogan, who has been accused of physically abusing his wife. (Hogan filed a defamation suit over the claims but asked the court to dismiss it five months later.) It also included a number of conservative figures who have sought to blame the victims of sexual assault, such as David Sacks and Mark Robinson. The speakers also included Representative Matt Gaetz, the Florida lawmaker who has been investigated but not charged by the Department of Justice for allegations of being part of a scheme to traffic a 17-year-old woman.

“Women who know and work for President Trump personally, like myself, know he is encouraging and generous to the women around him,” says Leavitt, the Trump spokesperson. “Most importantly, President Trump’s policies as president uplifted women across the country because they brought down the cost of living and made our communities safer.”

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